Comments on: How to Alleviate Self-Consciousness and Other People-Allergies http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/ The gentle art of sanity amidst civilization Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:42:42 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Larissa http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-5998 Larissa Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:15:04 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-5998 This really helped me. Thanks for writing. This really helped me. Thanks for writing.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-5324 David Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:15:04 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-5324 Good, I'm glad it was helpful Niyati. This exercise is actually fun too. Good, I’m glad it was helpful Niyati. This exercise is actually fun too.

]]> By: Niyati http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-5315 Niyati Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:01:48 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-5315 Great post! Really helped me out! So often I, under the veil of "improving myself", decide to be extremely self-conscious in every action I do in order to appear elegant, or whatever. But I judge myself so harshly, especially in front of other people. This post has made me realize that I don't have to be a walking hourglass doll all the time, nor must I worry about what people see in me. If I want to make conscious movements because it feels right to me, so be it. I needed this post. I need to remember the freedom of empty spaces everywhere I go. Thank you. Great post! Really helped me out!

So often I, under the veil of “improving myself”, decide to be extremely self-conscious in every action I do in order to appear elegant, or whatever. But I judge myself so harshly, especially in front of other people.
This post has made me realize that I don’t have to be a walking hourglass doll all the time, nor must I worry about what people see in me. If I want to make conscious movements because it feels right to me, so be it.
I needed this post. I need to remember the freedom of empty spaces everywhere I go.

Thank you.

]]> By: chris http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-3673 chris Tue, 26 May 2009 17:08:56 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-3673 Wow. Simply one of the most interesting article i've seen in years. The ending words are just great. ( By the way English is not my native language, so...) Being in the flow is what we are born to do afterall. A flow that is useless to resist. I personally think that when we feel threatened by the world, we almost forgot our humanity and that of others. Our perception is distorted. But as you said, we are lucky to be able to witness the world for free. When we realize what a privilege this is, hell turns into something a bit more closer to paradise. Thank you my friend. You made my day. Wow. Simply one of the most interesting article i’ve seen in years. The ending words are just great. ( By the way English is not my native language, so…) Being in the flow is what we are born to do afterall. A flow that is useless to resist. I personally think that when we feel threatened by the world, we almost forgot our humanity and that of others. Our perception is distorted. But as you said, we are lucky to be able to witness the world for free. When we realize what a privilege this is, hell turns into something a bit more closer to paradise. Thank you my friend. You made my day.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2411 David Tue, 05 May 2009 16:52:06 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2411 @ Jeeshan -- I can sympathize with the tendency to treat people like enemies sometimes. When I was more self-conscious, I often resented other people, because I viewed them as <i>causing</i> my anxiety. I still feel those hints of resentment sometimes, but now I know that's its just a bad habit, and not at all warranted. That makes it easier to let it go and enjoy the space I'm in. @ Sam -- Alleviating people allergies isn't going to happen overnight, it is a matter of habit change. Habitual postures and tones of voice have to be looked at and consciously changed, but hopefully there are some new perspectives here that will make it easier. @ Jeeshan — I can sympathize with the tendency to treat people like enemies sometimes. When I was more self-conscious, I often resented other people, because I viewed them as causing my anxiety. I still feel those hints of resentment sometimes, but now I know that’s its just a bad habit, and not at all warranted. That makes it easier to let it go and enjoy the space I’m in.

@ Sam — Alleviating people allergies isn’t going to happen overnight, it is a matter of habit change. Habitual postures and tones of voice have to be looked at and consciously changed, but hopefully there are some new perspectives here that will make it easier.

]]> By: Sam http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2106 Sam Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:44:50 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2106 Wow, David, this is an amazingly touching and insightful post. I found it through Jenny Blake's list of networking links, and I'm so glad I was able to read this post. I am someone who definitely suffers from "people allergies," and no matter what I've done, I haven't been able to make them go away. This post definitely speaks to me, and I will give your suggestions a try. Glad to have found your blog, and I look forward to reading more. Wow, David, this is an amazingly touching and insightful post. I found it through Jenny Blake’s list of networking links, and I’m so glad I was able to read this post. I am someone who definitely suffers from “people allergies,” and no matter what I’ve done, I haven’t been able to make them go away. This post definitely speaks to me, and I will give your suggestions a try. Glad to have found your blog, and I look forward to reading more.

]]> By: Couldn’t Have Said it Better Myself: Networking | Life After College http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2071 Couldn’t Have Said it Better Myself: Networking | Life After College Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:19:09 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2071 [...] How to Allieviate Self-Consciousness and Other People Allergies (Raptitude) [...] [...] How to Allieviate Self-Consciousness and Other People Allergies (Raptitude) [...]

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2028 David Fri, 24 Apr 2009 20:14:15 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2028 Your suggestion is a good one, I often did that on the bus when I was going to college. I would just kind of let myself 'bathe' in all the sensations that made up a crowded bus. Traffic noise, loud conversations, even gross body heat... I'd just kind of let them 'have their way with me' so to speak, and it really made it feel perfectly fine. Welcome to Raptitude, Alex, we'll see you again soon. Your suggestion is a good one, I often did that on the bus when I was going to college. I would just kind of let myself ‘bathe’ in all the sensations that made up a crowded bus. Traffic noise, loud conversations, even gross body heat… I’d just kind of let them ‘have their way with me’ so to speak, and it really made it feel perfectly fine.

Welcome to Raptitude, Alex, we’ll see you again soon.

]]> By: Alex http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2024 Alex Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:12:29 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2024 haha really like the title. the "imagining the street is abandoned" exercise is really cool. i used to do something similar in nightclubs when i used to get nervous. seems really intimidating with everyone dressed up, loud music etc but imagine it in the day time with nobody there and completely different story =D ...another exercise i'd really recommend is the opposite. instead of trying to distance yourself from it to realise the triviality of the fear - do the opposite. fully feel the people and environment - listen to the sounds and the silences between the sounds - fully feel the connectedness that you are and that life is and melt into the environment. really solid stuff. will check back alex unleash reality haha really like the title.

the “imagining the street is abandoned” exercise is really cool. i used to do something similar in nightclubs when i used to get nervous. seems really intimidating with everyone dressed up, loud music etc but imagine it in the day time with nobody there and completely different story =D

…another exercise i’d really recommend is the opposite. instead of trying to distance yourself from it to realise the triviality of the fear – do the opposite. fully feel the people and environment – listen to the sounds and the silences between the sounds – fully feel the connectedness that you are and that life is and melt into the environment.

really solid stuff.
will check back

alex
unleash reality

]]> By: Favorite Finds Of The Week | Serene Journey http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-1862 Favorite Finds Of The Week | Serene Journey Sat, 18 Apr 2009 10:07:16 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-1862 [...] How to Alleviate Self-Consciousness and Other People-Allergies - Raptitude Whether it’s the rude throng of last-minute Christmas shoppers, or the drunken fratboys slithering up to you at a concert, or the old man in the restaurant booth behind you who clears his decrepit throat every forty seconds, everyone finds themselves feeling a general aversion to people now and then.  For those with any level of social anxiety, there is always at least a hum of this derision in the background, sometimes a full-on shout.  Even for those without it, repeated ugly experiences can inspire a familiar distaste for people that may never completely disappear. Unless, of course, the people do. [...] [...] How to Alleviate Self-Consciousness and Other People-Allergies – Raptitude Whether it’s the rude throng of last-minute Christmas shoppers, or the drunken fratboys slithering up to you at a concert, or the old man in the restaurant booth behind you who clears his decrepit throat every forty seconds, everyone finds themselves feeling a general aversion to people now and then.  For those with any level of social anxiety, there is always at least a hum of this derision in the background, sometimes a full-on shout.  Even for those without it, repeated ugly experiences can inspire a familiar distaste for people that may never completely disappear. Unless, of course, the people do. [...]

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