Comments on: How to Alleviate Self-Consciousness and Other People-Allergies http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/ The gentle art of sanity amidst civilization Wed, 08 Feb 2012 03:44:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jane http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-19828 Jane Thu, 06 Oct 2011 03:03:33 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-19828 When I did this "Visualize what the place would look like if it were completely evacuated of people." I just felt .............. lonely. And that was the best gift I could have had from the exercise because it showed me I'm not quite the loner I thought I was, I like my humankind. When I did this “Visualize what the place would look like if it were completely evacuated of people.” I just felt ………….. lonely. And that was the best gift I could have had from the exercise because it showed me I’m not quite the loner I thought I was, I like my humankind.

]]> By: eli http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-12267 eli Mon, 01 Nov 2010 06:36:28 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-12267 thanks David, well said; I felt like i was talking about myself when you explain your original situation. Three questions: I know listening is important, but how do you get people to come and tell you their passion to begin with?? Also, many would recommend opening up to people to connect more; how would you put these in their correct place? And lastly, when i do communicate with people (or specially on a date) there are many things i would originally like to talk about, but during the conversation i just cannot recall them; i appreciate if you would've any tips on this. many thanks thanks David, well said;
I felt like i was talking about myself when you explain your original situation.
Three questions:
I know listening is important, but how do you get people to come and tell you their passion to begin with??
Also, many would recommend opening up to people to connect more; how would you put these in their correct place?
And lastly, when i do communicate with people (or specially on a date) there are many things i would originally like to talk about, but during the conversation i just cannot recall them; i appreciate if you would’ve any tips on this.

many thanks

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-10589 David Sat, 10 Jul 2010 14:18:59 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-10589 I try to do it when I just arrive in a new place, and when I first begin to walk around. I don't find it difficult but I'm not sure what it's like for other people. Focus mainly on the surfaces: floors, walls, streets, the space itself. It may be easier for men than women because men tend to have more keen spatial perception. I try to do it when I just arrive in a new place, and when I first begin to walk around. I don’t find it difficult but I’m not sure what it’s like for other people. Focus mainly on the surfaces: floors, walls, streets, the space itself. It may be easier for men than women because men tend to have more keen spatial perception.
David´s last [type] ..Good News- Happiness Doesn’t Exist

]]> By: nahl http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-10582 nahl Sat, 10 Jul 2010 11:19:50 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-10582 I've tried doing this, but when I am around people or when they are talking to me, I just can't get myself to imagine that I am in an empty room. Is it just me or am I missing a step? I’ve tried doing this, but when I am around people or when they are talking to me, I just can’t get myself to imagine that I am in an empty room. Is it just me or am I missing a step?
nahl´s last [type] ..Protected-

]]> By: Larissa http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-5998 Larissa Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:15:04 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-5998 This really helped me. Thanks for writing. This really helped me. Thanks for writing.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-5324 David Fri, 18 Sep 2009 13:15:04 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-5324 Good, I'm glad it was helpful Niyati. This exercise is actually fun too. Good, I’m glad it was helpful Niyati. This exercise is actually fun too.

]]> By: Niyati http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-5315 Niyati Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:01:48 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-5315 Great post! Really helped me out! So often I, under the veil of "improving myself", decide to be extremely self-conscious in every action I do in order to appear elegant, or whatever. But I judge myself so harshly, especially in front of other people. This post has made me realize that I don't have to be a walking hourglass doll all the time, nor must I worry about what people see in me. If I want to make conscious movements because it feels right to me, so be it. I needed this post. I need to remember the freedom of empty spaces everywhere I go. Thank you. Great post! Really helped me out!

So often I, under the veil of “improving myself”, decide to be extremely self-conscious in every action I do in order to appear elegant, or whatever. But I judge myself so harshly, especially in front of other people.
This post has made me realize that I don’t have to be a walking hourglass doll all the time, nor must I worry about what people see in me. If I want to make conscious movements because it feels right to me, so be it.
I needed this post. I need to remember the freedom of empty spaces everywhere I go.

Thank you.

]]> By: chris http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-3673 chris Tue, 26 May 2009 17:08:56 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-3673 Wow. Simply one of the most interesting article i've seen in years. The ending words are just great. ( By the way English is not my native language, so...) Being in the flow is what we are born to do afterall. A flow that is useless to resist. I personally think that when we feel threatened by the world, we almost forgot our humanity and that of others. Our perception is distorted. But as you said, we are lucky to be able to witness the world for free. When we realize what a privilege this is, hell turns into something a bit more closer to paradise. Thank you my friend. You made my day. Wow. Simply one of the most interesting article i’ve seen in years. The ending words are just great. ( By the way English is not my native language, so…) Being in the flow is what we are born to do afterall. A flow that is useless to resist. I personally think that when we feel threatened by the world, we almost forgot our humanity and that of others. Our perception is distorted. But as you said, we are lucky to be able to witness the world for free. When we realize what a privilege this is, hell turns into something a bit more closer to paradise. Thank you my friend. You made my day.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2411 David Tue, 05 May 2009 16:52:06 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2411 @ Jeeshan -- I can sympathize with the tendency to treat people like enemies sometimes. When I was more self-conscious, I often resented other people, because I viewed them as <i>causing</i> my anxiety. I still feel those hints of resentment sometimes, but now I know that's its just a bad habit, and not at all warranted. That makes it easier to let it go and enjoy the space I'm in. @ Sam -- Alleviating people allergies isn't going to happen overnight, it is a matter of habit change. Habitual postures and tones of voice have to be looked at and consciously changed, but hopefully there are some new perspectives here that will make it easier. @ Jeeshan — I can sympathize with the tendency to treat people like enemies sometimes. When I was more self-conscious, I often resented other people, because I viewed them as causing my anxiety. I still feel those hints of resentment sometimes, but now I know that’s its just a bad habit, and not at all warranted. That makes it easier to let it go and enjoy the space I’m in.

@ Sam — Alleviating people allergies isn’t going to happen overnight, it is a matter of habit change. Habitual postures and tones of voice have to be looked at and consciously changed, but hopefully there are some new perspectives here that will make it easier.

]]> By: Sam http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-alleviate-self-consciousness-and-other-people-allergies/#comment-2106 Sam Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:44:50 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=658#comment-2106 Wow, David, this is an amazingly touching and insightful post. I found it through Jenny Blake's list of networking links, and I'm so glad I was able to read this post. I am someone who definitely suffers from "people allergies," and no matter what I've done, I haven't been able to make them go away. This post definitely speaks to me, and I will give your suggestions a try. Glad to have found your blog, and I look forward to reading more. Wow, David, this is an amazingly touching and insightful post. I found it through Jenny Blake’s list of networking links, and I’m so glad I was able to read this post. I am someone who definitely suffers from “people allergies,” and no matter what I’ve done, I haven’t been able to make them go away. This post definitely speaks to me, and I will give your suggestions a try. Glad to have found your blog, and I look forward to reading more.

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