Comments on: How to Always Have Something Better to Talk About Than the Weather http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/ The gentle art of sanity amidst civilization Fri, 03 Feb 2012 22:30:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Cindyy http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-20716 Cindyy Thu, 08 Dec 2011 23:38:22 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-20716 A lot of things you said are so true!! I had to cry really bad during reading it... hehe... Last year I even told my friends I didn't want to be friends anymore because they told me I don't speak much, several times. I really hate it how they could talk freely about everything they like or dislike, I also wanted to talk about things I like. And I wanted a friend with the same interests as me... But! I really want to change and it's difficult... I decided to talk about this for my oral presentation! What do you guys think? Wish me luck! (ÓAÒ) I wanted to type some more but it's late~ Bye! A lot of things you said are so true!! I had to cry really bad during reading it… hehe…
Last year I even told my friends I didn’t want to be friends anymore because they told me I don’t speak much, several times. I really hate it how they could talk freely about everything they like or dislike, I also wanted to talk about things I like. And I wanted a friend with the same interests as me… But! I really want to change and it’s difficult…
I decided to talk about this for my oral presentation!
What do you guys think? Wish me luck! (ÓAÒ)
I wanted to type some more but it’s late~ Bye!

]]> By: Facebook Conversations - SocialPhobiaWorld.com http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-20080 Facebook Conversations - SocialPhobiaWorld.com Thu, 27 Oct 2011 19:09:37 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-20080 [...] really helped me on understanding interactions at a deeper level. Hope it works for you too. How to Always Have Something Better to Talk About Than the Weather And if all else fails. use meme and funny pictures of [...] [...] really helped me on understanding interactions at a deeper level. Hope it works for you too. How to Always Have Something Better to Talk About Than the Weather And if all else fails. use meme and funny pictures of [...]

]]> By: Nicole http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-20066 Nicole Wed, 26 Oct 2011 14:58:02 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-20066 So enlightening! I don't think I realized how much of an issue my shyness could be until I read this! So thank you for making me realize the things I need to work on! It really hit me when you said: "Being shy just kills self-esteem. People begin to treat you like you have nothing to say. It’s not even that they’re trying to marginalize you. It’s just that when you consistently contribute little or nothing to the conversation, they can’t help but assume you have nothing to contribute. And if everyone seems to be treating you like that, you begin to believe it. You begin to play out the role that is expected of you, even if it isn’t who you are or who you want to be." That is an exact description of my issue, and so relevant to my life. Improving on this, starting NOW! :) So enlightening! I don’t think I realized how much of an issue my shyness could be until I read this! So thank you for making me realize the things I need to work on! It really hit me when you said:

“Being shy just kills self-esteem. People begin to treat you like you have nothing to say. It’s not even that they’re trying to marginalize you. It’s just that when you consistently contribute little or nothing to the conversation, they can’t help but assume you have nothing to contribute. And if everyone seems to be treating you like that, you begin to believe it. You begin to play out the role that is expected of you, even if it isn’t who you are or who you want to be.”

That is an exact description of my issue, and so relevant to my life. Improving on this, starting NOW! :)

]]> By: Bibiana http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-20059 Bibiana Wed, 26 Oct 2011 03:59:24 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-20059 It's a good thing this appeared today, I was feeling a bit depress because I have been studying in college for 5 month now, and haven't really talk with anyone. I really need to improve my social skills. oh! and my solution to be notice and kind of remember, is that I dye my hair in different color almost every month; and in a way it also helps as an icebreaker because people are curies about it haha but that doesn't always work =/ so I need to find a way to be more sociable. so thanks for the post, I'll keep the tips you gave in mind. It’s a good thing this appeared today, I was feeling a bit depress because I have been studying in college for 5 month now, and haven’t really talk with anyone. I really need to improve my social skills.
oh! and my solution to be notice and kind of remember, is that I dye my hair in different color almost every month; and in a way it also helps as an icebreaker because people are curies about it haha but that doesn’t always work =/ so I need to find a way to be more sociable.
so thanks for the post, I’ll keep the tips you gave in mind.

]]> By: Barb http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-17223 Barb Sat, 30 Jul 2011 14:05:54 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-17223 Andy, you probably need to reread this article again, because I think you missed the point of it. Also, if you haven't, you might want to read this awesome piece, The Secret To Connecting. http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/the-secret-to-connecting-with-people/ Peace. Andy, you probably need to reread this article again, because I think you missed the point of it. Also, if you haven’t, you might want to read this awesome piece, The Secret To Connecting.

http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/the-secret-to-connecting-with-people/

Peace.

]]> By: gary http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-17210 gary Sat, 30 Jul 2011 04:34:06 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-17210 Great post David, probably one of THE best I have read over the years I have spent looking for self-help. Something about it made me realize fully why it is such a disadvantage to be shy or quiet. Naturally my ego activates a self-defence mechanism, saying that people who small-talk lack insight or have nothing more important to talk about. But it is those views that have caused me plenty of social anxiety, awkwardness. Some people just seem to have the ability to have great conversations almost about nothing at all. I often find myself having to resort to asking some question and hopefully getting enough information to continue, but that hasn't worked that well for me. Sometimes you just lack knowledge about someone else's interest and can't ask the right questions to make them start talking. Sometimes people don't want to open up about what they really want to talk about. And of course, no one really is excited to talk about plain old work or school. What I still struggle a lot is with second-tier friends - you know them enough superficially, but trying to get the conversation flowing really requires something else. Truthfully, I just hate asking what someone's been up to lately, or vice versa. Great post David, probably one of THE best I have read over the years I have spent looking for self-help. Something about it made me realize fully why it is such a disadvantage to be shy or quiet. Naturally my ego activates a self-defence mechanism, saying that people who small-talk lack insight or have nothing more important to talk about. But it is those views that have caused me plenty of social anxiety, awkwardness. Some people just seem to have the ability to have great conversations almost about nothing at all. I often find myself having to resort to asking some question and hopefully getting enough information to continue, but that hasn’t worked that well for me. Sometimes you just lack knowledge about someone else’s interest and can’t ask the right questions to make them start talking. Sometimes people don’t want to open up about what they really want to talk about. And of course, no one really is excited to talk about plain old work or school.

What I still struggle a lot is with second-tier friends – you know them enough superficially, but trying to get the conversation flowing really requires something else. Truthfully, I just hate asking what someone’s been up to lately, or vice versa.

]]> By: GD http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-16086 GD Sat, 04 Jun 2011 04:17:14 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-16086 This is probably the most comprehensive article I've ever read about overcoming shyness! The posts that follow are great as well. As I saw myself in many of the examples, it dawned on me that my problem is worse than I thought. People have told me that I'm 'quiet' yet I can also talk quite a bit depending on the circumstances. In the last couple of years I've been a part of a singles group and we get together about once a week. One or two people usually have control of or outtalk most of us. I often find myself trying to say something, or only get part of my point across before being interrupted by something, someone or their phone. It's so annoying that I give up and just let others talk and just sit there and listen until they actually ask me something. But it's hard to stay silent sometimes. What do you do when people always interrupt or talk over you without saying something catty or mean? This is probably the most comprehensive article I’ve ever read about overcoming shyness! The posts that follow are great as well. As I saw myself in many of the examples, it dawned on me that my problem is worse than I thought. People have told me that I’m ‘quiet’ yet I can also talk quite a bit depending on the circumstances. In the last couple of years I’ve been a part of a singles group and we get together about once a week. One or two people usually have control of or outtalk most of us. I often find myself trying to say something, or only get part of my point across before being interrupted by something, someone or their phone. It’s so annoying that I give up and just let others talk and just sit there and listen until they actually ask me something. But it’s hard to stay silent sometimes. What do you do when people always interrupt or talk over you without saying something catty or mean?

]]> By: bg http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-15337 bg Thu, 05 May 2011 00:41:48 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-15337 Great article! This really resonated with me in a lot of ways. I too am very shy and have trouble making conversation with people. I think you have some excellent tips here that I will try. I'm glad I found this blog. I have it bookmarked and plan to explore it more. Thanks! Great article! This really resonated with me in a lot of ways. I too am very shy and have trouble making conversation with people. I think you have some excellent tips here that I will try. I’m glad I found this blog. I have it bookmarked and plan to explore it more. Thanks!
bg´s last [type] ..Life Advice

]]> By: Kristi T http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-14172 Kristi T Tue, 01 Mar 2011 01:16:23 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-14172 I love reading your blog. I just finished reading the post about shyness. Consider that you might be an introvert. I am. It's a different way of looking at the situation and for me, was very clarifying. http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/ I love reading your blog. I just finished reading the post about shyness. Consider that you might be an introvert. I am. It’s a different way of looking at the situation and for me, was very clarifying.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/

]]> By: Bob Leedom http://www.raptitude.com/2009/04/how-to-always-have-something-better-to-talk-about-than-the-weather/#comment-14005 Bob Leedom Wed, 23 Feb 2011 02:08:21 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=818#comment-14005 Re: Getting a conversation going by discovering what the other person is interested in On Monday morning, when anyone asks me, "How was your weekend?", it doesn't matter if I re-arranged my socks or climbed Mt Everest on Saturday -- I will say, "Great! How was yours?" Nearly always, they were only asking because they were bursting to tell me about their own weekend. That may sound cynical, but I can tell you that I've spent many useless breaths answering the opening question, only to realize that the asker is simply waiting for me to finish so he can get to his story. The exceptions: Good and true friends, who really are interested in me. I'm interested in them, too, so we both enjoy each others' answers. Re: Getting a conversation going by discovering what the other person is interested in

On Monday morning, when anyone asks me, “How was your weekend?”, it doesn’t matter if I re-arranged my socks or climbed Mt Everest on Saturday — I will say, “Great! How was yours?” Nearly always, they were only asking because they were bursting to tell me about their own weekend.

That may sound cynical, but I can tell you that I’ve spent many useless breaths answering the opening question, only to realize that the asker is simply waiting for me to finish so he can get to his story.

The exceptions: Good and true friends, who really are interested in me. I’m interested in them, too, so we both enjoy each others’ answers.

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