Comments on: Blame is Useless

By: Char (PSI Tutor:Mentor)

Char (PSI Tutor:Mentor) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 21:00:51 +0000

hll~ You are meant to be here. Your life does have value. You have much to share with others.

I hope you join us here in discussion often~ thank you for giving of yourself in your comment. I was able to reflect on my times of feeling this way, your strength is in your sharing, now I will too throughout my day.

By: hll

hll — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:19:53 +0000

i do not thing suffering is our ‘fault’ either. it would be good if to take this full responsibility for one’s own suffering could lead to some greater empowerment or sense of empowerment; it doesn’t, in my experience. i can’t fix it, can’t reduce it. the benefit of reducing resentment is considerable yeah, although maybe that is debatable too. to b sad instead of angry is perhaps not so useful if decisive action is needed in dangerous situations
i agree about the nonexistence of evil. cause and effect is what there is. why am i so sad and weak. no examination of causes will answer this in a way that alleviates anything. insight is not enough. whatever enough is i can’[t do it. getting older now. think i never will. should not have been born. don’t say anything.

By: David

David — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 03:24:24 +0000

I’m glad this was able to help you. If you read my latest post, you’ll know I had a minor catastrophe yesterday, and even though it was ultimately my fault, I kept experiencing all sorts of blameful thoughts: the airline for making me late, the crappy backpack that unzipped itself and let my items fall and break, the Hong Kong airport for being so hopelessly huge… but I’m the one who has to deal with it.

Yes, the victim mentality is one of complete powerlessness. As long as there’s blame, there’s no healing.

By: Stacey

Stacey — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 20:54:51 +0000

About the time you wrote this, I found out my husband was cheating on me with a woman from work. I’ve spent the past 7 months feeling trapped by his poor decision. I’ve definitely been caught up blaming him and this other woman for my suffering.

What you’ve written here is so true. Trying to blame them for my suffering has not made the situation better or different. My reality is what it is now, and taking responsibility for my life will definitely move me out from the role of “victim”. Who wants to be a victim of their own life anyway? Thanks for the insight.

By: David

David — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 03:01:54 +0000

Thanks. Will do.

By: kenz.

kenz. — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:33:26 +0000

David, i find your insights truly engaging and they have redefined alot thoughts that I am trying to curb, becoming more mindful in the process.

I believe that blame is useless, yet funnily enough, it’s like an intuitive reaction.

I was also very curious to whether you could email me some of your preferences on some other blogs or books that have shaped your insights on this world, it would be really appreciated!

kenz.

By: Gerlaine

Gerlaine — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:04:42 +0000

No need to feel shame. Just be aware realize and move on. You are moving into enlightenment this way. :) .-= Gerlaine´s last blog ..Gerlaine Talk Refocus… =-.

By: Gerlaine

Gerlaine — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:42:04 +0000

Excellent Wayne Dyer quote. Totally tweeting it. .-= Gerlaine´s last blog ..Gerlaine Talk Refocus… =-.

By: Gerlaine

Gerlaine — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 15:35:53 +0000

I was just feeling the joy of blame while I was reading this post. I was ignoring a call, because I have a hard time saying no to people who need help. My mom answers the phone and rips me of my I’m not at home excuse and now I find myself saying okay, I’ll take you where you want to go, even though I plain just don’t have time.

I blame my mom for answering a call that I was ignoring. I blame the person who called, because they know that I work at home and if I don’t work, then I don’t make any money.

Well, I forgive the whole situation, because you know what? It doesn’t matter. I am responsible for uttering the word “yes” when I could have just said no. I chose this situation.

Just as I was writing this, my parents let me know they had to use my car anyway. So, ended up having to say no. All things worked out. I actually “had” to say no anyway, because I needed to work.

This blame stuff really sets up an ‘illusion’ for you, doesn’t it?
.-= Gerlaine´s last blog ..Gerlaine Talk Refocus… =-.

By: When You Hear the Same Thing From People You Trust, Believe It | HiLife2B

When You Hear the Same Thing From People You Trust, Believe It | HiLife2B — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:12:27 +0000

[...] anymore. Heck, I can’t make excuses anymore. We need to stop blaming external influences and start taking responsibility for our own actions.We can’t blame trivial things like money, time, race, gender (Oprah, [...]