Comments on: Two Simple Tricks to Be More Comfortable in Your Own Skin http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/ The gentle art of sanity amidst civilization Thu, 09 Sep 2010 17:55:42 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Tatiana http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6984 Tatiana Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:43:00 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6984 The fist tip is exactly the advice I sort of follow internally in those rare moments when I feel social discomfort. Unlike many people in this thread I rarely feel self-conscious and don't mind looking like an idiot if I feel like it. I don't mind the feeling of being lost and bewildered and rather enjoy feeling like a fish out of water because I know it's such a temporary feeling. But the odd time when I feel uncomfortable in a new environment I do what you do - step back a bit, get my bearings, relax into the environment and feel the strangeness until you gleefully realize that absolutely no one but no one is paying attention to you. Most people are so absorbed in their internal chatter that they pay quite scant attention to wee you and your problems. Then - deep breath and proceed to do what you need to do - find a schedule, get a taxi, whatever. Also - worst case - ask for help - people generally like to help out and will do so given the opportunity. :) .-= Tatiana´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.mycoldprairie.com/2009/12/08/a-helpful-tourist/" rel="nofollow">A helpful tourist</a> =-. The fist tip is exactly the advice I sort of follow internally in those rare moments when I feel social discomfort. Unlike many people in this thread I rarely feel self-conscious and don’t mind looking like an idiot if I feel like it. I don’t mind the feeling of being lost and bewildered and rather enjoy feeling like a fish out of water because I know it’s such a temporary feeling.

But the odd time when I feel uncomfortable in a new environment I do what you do – step back a bit, get my bearings, relax into the environment and feel the strangeness until you gleefully realize that absolutely no one but no one is paying attention to you. Most people are so absorbed in their internal chatter that they pay quite scant attention to wee you and your problems. Then – deep breath and proceed to do what you need to do – find a schedule, get a taxi, whatever. Also – worst case – ask for help – people generally like to help out and will do so given the opportunity. :)
Tatiana´s last blog ..A helpful tourist My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6785 David Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:00:00 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6785 I too recommend <a href="http://www.raptitude.com/2009/11/what-five-days-of-silence-taught-me/" rel="nofollow">sitting with discomfort.</a> Nothing has been more useful to me than learning to sit with all sorts of feelings. This is very strong medicine, and it's the work of a lifetime. These tips are simple tricks to achieve a more accurate perspective when you find your ego has convinced you that you are smaller than the people around you. Self-consciousness is a lack of perspective, and you can manipulate the ego to restore that perspective by compensating through visualization. Always do what works best for you. I too recommend sitting with discomfort. Nothing has been more useful to me than learning to sit with all sorts of feelings. This is very strong medicine, and it’s the work of a lifetime.

These tips are simple tricks to achieve a more accurate perspective when you find your ego has convinced you that you are smaller than the people around you. Self-consciousness is a lack of perspective, and you can manipulate the ego to restore that perspective by compensating through visualization. Always do what works best for you.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6784 David Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:54:13 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6784 You're probably right. However, it's strange: I feel less self-conscious in places where I <em>don't</em> speak the local language. I suppose it's because I know I have no chance of fitting in seamlessly, so there's no anxiety about it. I felt virtually no self-consciousness in Thailand, except when I was surrounded by Westerners. You’re probably right. However, it’s strange: I feel less self-conscious in places where I don’t speak the local language. I suppose it’s because I know I have no chance of fitting in seamlessly, so there’s no anxiety about it. I felt virtually no self-consciousness in Thailand, except when I was surrounded by Westerners.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6783 David Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:51:35 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6783 That's the ultimate defense to self-consciousness: to know that people are much more concerned with themselves than with you. That’s the ultimate defense to self-consciousness: to know that people are much more concerned with themselves than with you.

]]> By: Langston http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6779 Langston Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:48:22 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6779 I see how your techniques can make someone feel more comfortable, but the chair technique seems too ego based. It seems to me that it may be more socially and personally healthy for someone not to cover their discomfort with the comfort found in ownership of a situation. I would recommend learning to sit with your discomfort. Explore it; see where it takes you. This can lead to all sorts of revelations pertaining to yourself, society, or even the deeper mysteries of the universe. I see how your techniques can make someone feel more comfortable, but the chair technique seems too ego based. It seems to me that it may be more socially and personally healthy for someone not to cover their discomfort with the comfort found in ownership of a situation. I would recommend learning to sit with your discomfort. Explore it; see where it takes you. This can lead to all sorts of revelations pertaining to yourself, society, or even the deeper mysteries of the universe.

]]> By: Financial Samurai http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6776 Financial Samurai Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:07:58 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6776 I think part of the reason why Americans feel uncomfortable in foreign places is b/c of our lack of ability to speak a foreign language. Did you know that only 20% of Americans can speak a foreign language at an advanced level? It's pretty shocking to me. Once you know a foreign language, you understand nuances. .-= Financial Samurai´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/FinancialSamurai/~3/dZTiCd-8zUA/" rel="nofollow">Why The World Forgives Rich And Famous People For Cheating</a> =-. I think part of the reason why Americans feel uncomfortable in foreign places is b/c of our lack of ability to speak a foreign language.

Did you know that only 20% of Americans can speak a foreign language at an advanced level? It’s pretty shocking to me.

Once you know a foreign language, you understand nuances.
Financial Samurai´s last blog ..Why The World Forgives Rich And Famous People For Cheating My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Brenda (betaphi) http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6774 Brenda (betaphi) Sun, 06 Dec 2009 22:27:46 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6774 I think women, especially, fuss and fidget over how they look. Someone once told me not to worry because most people are more interested in how they look than how you look. That helped a lot. .-= Brenda (betaphi)´s last blog ..<a href="http://betaphilings.com/?p=1106" rel="nofollow">Why the Dragons Went Away</a> =-. I think women, especially, fuss and fidget over how they look. Someone once told me not to worry because most people are more interested in how they look than how you look. That helped a lot.
Brenda (betaphi)´s last blog ..Why the Dragons Went Away My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6769 David Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:49:29 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6769 Yeah, I'm not sure why it's such a huge surprise to find that vulnerability is normal, even in confidence people. I've been people-watching a lot today, and it's absolutely everywhere. Thank God for the shortcomings of others ;) Yeah, I’m not sure why it’s such a huge surprise to find that vulnerability is normal, even in confidence people. I’ve been people-watching a lot today, and it’s absolutely everywhere. Thank God for the shortcomings of others ;)

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6768 David Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:47:32 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6768 <blockquote>wherever I am that is where I belong</blockquote> Love that one! Suddenly I feel like a coffee.

wherever I am that is where I belong

Love that one!

Suddenly I feel like a coffee.

]]> By: David http://www.raptitude.com/2009/12/two-simple-tricks-to-be-more-comfortable-in-your-own-skin/#comment-6767 David Sun, 06 Dec 2009 00:46:22 +0000 http://www.raptitude.com/?p=2341#comment-6767 Thanks Leigh Ann. Just writing this post has reminded me to do these things more often, especially the chair one. Sometimes I just forget outright. At the moment I'm the emperor of an internet café in Rotorua :) Thanks Leigh Ann. Just writing this post has reminded me to do these things more often, especially the chair one. Sometimes I just forget outright. At the moment I’m the emperor of an internet café in Rotorua :)

]]>