Asking for help has always been so hard for me. I always hated it when I couldn’t do something for myself. I felt like a failure. I was so used to being asked for help, I sort of felt like I’d lose my identity as “the knower” if I put myself on the other side of the table.
I flunked in college because I was utterly terrified to ask for help. Admitting I was lost and needed help was, for me, like stepping out of a plane without a parachute. Even if I wanted to do it, my body wouldn’t budge. Believe it or not, through twelve years of grade school I did not once say, “I don’t know how to do this. Please show me.”
I would do anything else instead. Skip class to study it on my own, work backwards from the solution in the back of the text, or most often, simply avoid it for the rest of my life.
Naturally, this strategy caused some problems. Read More
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David on August 20, 2009
It seems that we are members of the only animal species that lives most of its life knowing that it’s going to die. I sometimes wonder if life would be easier if we didn’t know it. It really is the worst of all spoilers. Happy Monday, by the way.
Now, there are other animals that do seem to realize when death is approaching; venerable elephants famously leave their pack to die in seclusion, and dogs and cats often run away from home or hide when their end is near.
But I suspect they don’t quite know why they’re inclined to do these things. It seems unlikely that they do it out of a rational understanding of their life cycle; I suspect that the urge just mysteriously comes over them along with the illness and weakness, and they take heed.
In any case, they don’t seem to know what’s coming until it’s on their doorstep.
Human beings, for better or worse, inevitably gather a more complete understanding of death, and very early on. We learn the concept of death as children. A person can’t live for more than four or five years without discovering the unpleasant fact that they are ultimately, well, doomed. Every child soon encounters a situation that someone else must help them understand by breaking this sad news, whether it’s when a pet disappears, when they ask where their grandma’s grandma is, or when they watch the Mr Hooper episode of Sesame Street.
Read More
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David on August 17, 2009
To recap for new readers, nine weeks ago I declared I would school myself in the art of the Russian
kettlebell. I resolved to work with the antique freeweight, Soviet commando-style, in accordance with Pavel Tsatsouline’s
Enter the Kettlebell.
Being somewhat a novice, I did the first of two programs, humbly named the Program Minimum. It consists of two exercises you’ve probably never heard of, both of which I described in the original post. Kettlebells have a steep learning curve, and are about as forgiving as concrete, but I did okay. Read More
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David on July 23, 2009
Two weeks ago, I mentioned in my post The Year With Two Summers that I would be leaving sometime in October to spend a year in another country. This country is in the southern hemisphere, which means I’ll be able to enjoy the North American summer and leave just as summer is beginning down there.
I did not reveal the country because I wanted to make sure I would have the appropriate Visa to be able to stay for twelve months. If it had been denied for some reason then I would have had to choose a different destination.
Not that I’ve kept this a secret, in my offline life. I think all of my friends know by now, and I’ve announced my resignation to my boss.
Well, this week I got the great news: my Visa has been approved.
Five months from now, I will be living in Read More
Nothing is permanent. That’s not really news, but it may mean more than you think, on a day-to-day level.
In each moment, everything around you is constantly changing, and it never changes back. It’s always new.
Some changes are subtle, some dramatic, but all of it is changing.
Life is uncertain by its very nature. Except for this:
No matter what is happening right now,
It will never happen again.
Not quite like this anyway. Read More
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus
This year is my 29th year on earth, and I’ve decided to make it the most memorable and remarkable year I’ve ever had. My entire adult life I have felt the unsettling feeling that I am not living up to my potential, and finally — just this year — that feeling is gone. I’m cruising, not treading water like before.
The choice to build a blog emerged as part of a personal renaissance of sorts, a shift in priorities that has changed my life dramatically over the last year or so. I’ve finally reached a point where I’m organized and clear-headed enough to be continuously moving towards what I really want in life. I’m learning a language, getting in shape, getting fantastically organized, and honing skills I’ve long neglected. Read More
I always wanted to be Indiana Jones. I was the only nine-year-old on the block with a fedora and a genuine bullwhip. I watched the movies all the time. I couldn’t get enough ancient tombs and hidden doors and mine-cart chases. That was the appeal for me, the action. It wasn’t until I grew up a bit that I started to actually understand the plots of some of the movies I was watching. It wasn’t just a familiar parade of fascinating scenes, those scenes actually caused each other. None of them stood alone.
The deeper message in the story always went over my head too. It was the spectacle I was interested in, the romance and drama, not so much the people. I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark several times before I even realized that the dorky professor at the beginning was Indiana Jones.
As I grew up, I realized that the real power of story was in the development of the characters, not the exploding jeeps. Read More
The blogosphere has grown to astronomical size already, but somehow, there still appears to be pervasive sameness to it. (Anybody know where I can learn to make money online?) There are millions of blogs in thousands of niches, and in each, certain authorities rise to the surface. Most of these “A-listers” are just especially good at something a lot of people are doing: marketing, getting fit, discussing tech stuff. Nothing wrong with that. But some people are clearly drumming their own tune, and it’s refreshing to see people who are doing something that is so distinguished, they have no competition.
Here are three fascinating characters working on three extraordinary projects. Enjoy. Read More
Difficulty strengthens the mind, as labor the body.
~Seneca
In Experiment No. 1, I set out to condition my mind by introducing it to frequent meditation sessions, and reported the results here on Raptitude. It was a real eye-opener for me, and I was able to break new ground in terms of my understanding my mind. In other words, I feel markedly stronger, mentally. For Raptitude’s second official experiment, I’m going to get physical.
My weapon of choice is actually one Soviet troops used for many years to stay one glorious step ahead of their capitalist foes in the realm of physical prowess. While western drill sergeants were punishing their men with long jogs and pushups by the dozen, Red Army soldiers were out in the pastures hoisting 53-pound iron balls above their heads a thousand times. Every morning. In a blizzard. Taking breaks only to wrestle bears, for fun. Read More
I have great news.
You are the star of the most poignant film ever conceived. An unprecedented epic saga, it is filmed in one continuous shot, from the first-person perspective. The sets are rich with detail, the lighting always underlines the mood perfectly, the cinematography always magnificent yet unpretentious.
The supporting cast is top notch, too. There are no histrionics, no miscast actors, no flubbed lines. They all deliver the dialogue impeccably, each line timed and inflected perfectly for its respective scene. The protagonists’ friends and lovers will make you laugh out loud, swoon with desire, and feel a sense of belonging and respect. The villains make you feel afraid, furious, depressed, and alienated.
Often the people in the story will look right at the camera, and reveal the stunning depth and density of their character to you. Why are they even in this story, and why in this particular chapter? What role are they here to play: the advisor, the fool, the expert, the disciple, the love interest, the diplomat, the instigator, the enemy, the martyr? Read More
I'm David and Raptitude is a street-level look at the human experience -- what makes human beings do what they do, and what that means in real life.
I write about how to make sense of the earth's most ridiculous animal, how to get better at being one of them, and how only those two things can save the world. 
Hi Julie, good to hear from you. I'm still determined to take a road trip across the south, then out to LA, but I don't know where it is in my always-growing sequence of upcoming trips. :)