I’ve received a fair bit of email asking me to write about how to be more comfortable in your own skin, particularly in unfamiliar places. Many report some level of anxiety at the thought of venturing into crowded venues, exploring new neighborhoods, or traveling alone.
I won’t pretend I’ve conquered self-consciousness in all its forms, but I can see my preparedness for dealing with the unfamiliar is miles from where it once was.
As a benchmark of how far I’ve come, I often reminisce with some embarrassment how my heart used to beat a little faster even at the thought of ordering pizza over the phone. It’s difficult to comprehend now what exactly I found intimidating about it, but I know that that was reality for me at one point.
Not long ago (maybe two years) I was not in a state of mind where I would be willing to confront the intrinsic uncertainties and risks of shipping myself off to another country. I’ve been on the road for seven weeks in unfamiliar parts of three countries and I’ve run into surprisingly few situations where I could not relax into whatever new scene I’ve found myself in.
I’ve learned a few tricks that really help create ease in situations where you don’t exactly feel like a fish in water. I’ll share two simple ones that you may want to try if you’re feeling a bit out of your element somewhere. Read More
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David on December 3, 2009
“I hate the person who invented Mondays.”
I saw that phrase on someone’s Facebook status a week or two ago, and it made me smile. It’s definitely an understandable sentiment. I remember miserable grade-school mornings, being dragged out of bed by my mom. All I could do was grumble bitterly, “I hate the person who invented school!”
And I really did. I could almost picture this person: a crusty, stern Englishman with thick glasses and a white mustache, rapping a stick on the chalkboard. What a nasty thing to do to me, to invent school. I hated him.
At least, I hated him during those moments when I was being dragged out of bed and shuffled off to school. In fact, I’m sure there were times when I realized that there probably wasn’t one person out there in history who was solely responsible for inventing school and spoiling my mornings. But at that moment at 7:30am when I was yanked out of my pleasant dreams, he was ruining my life. Read More
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David on November 23, 2009
There is a saying in Thailand that you may have seen on a T-shirt: “Same same but different.” When you ask a local how Ko Samui compares to Ko Lanta, he might scratch his chin for a moment, then shrug and say “Same same, but different.”
Back in May I wrote about Bowerbirds, a species of bird that attracts its mate by creating works of art. Their almost human-like values of beauty remind us that the superficial quality of form is the only thing that makes us different from other life. The function is pretty much the same, only the methods and styles differ. Within the narrower spectrum of different human populations, we’re even more alike.
Thailand has become a rather heavily touristed country, and I suppose that has taken the edge off the culture shock a westerner might feel stepping out of an airport taxi into the streets of Bangkok. For me it was a little bit of an adjustment, but I have to say I was surprised at how similar this side of the planet is to the side I’m used to. Read More
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David on November 16, 2009
Yesterday I came across a familiar quote on Twitter:
“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”
~ Thomas Edison
Then today I came across an equally interesting quote from another historical figure:
“I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that don’t work.”
~ Ben Franklin
Oh.
With the information age in full swing, I see a lot of this nowadays. Two versions of the truth emerge, each as unassuming as the other.
So are we to just pick one? I guess. Which one do you believe, that’s the real question. And once you pick a belief, are you going to call it knowledge? Read More
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David on October 26, 2009
In the 1980s, New York City’s crime rate was soaring. Total crime had more than doubled over the previous two decades; violent crimes tripled. It peaked in 1990 and then began a sudden, nationwide decline as the dismal economy began to show new life.
But New York’s economy did not follow the national trend. It remained flat. Yet crime plummeted to a third of its peak rate, surpassing the drop in the national average. New Yorkers say they feel the safest they have in years, and the city’s notorious subway system is no longer the fearsome dungeon it once was.
Exactly what they did differently is the subject of some debate. The authorities tried all sorts of things, but there is one measure that is widely credited for being the catalyst that made the other approaches effective: Read More
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David on October 8, 2009
Today’s article is a guest post by Josh Hanagarne from World’s Strongest Librarian. Read this post with reflection; it says much more about humanity than may appear at first glance.
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“And I held the hands while she died. Those hands that hit me.”
She had come into the library to check out a book on grieving. As she talked about the passing of her mother, she seemed to forget that I was in the room — or that the room existed at all.
In that one sentence I heard the best and the worst of humanity — all reflected in these amazing tools hanging from the ends of our arms.
She may never think of me again, but I will never forget her. Read More
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Josh on September 14, 2009
Last week, convicted Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi was released from prison by the Scottish government, on “compassionate grounds.” He is dying of cancer and has less than three months to live. Initial reactions were strong, but deeply divided. Here are just some of the millions of opinions that flew back and forth on Twitter, in the hours that followed:
I hope his plane falls from the sky like the 283 people 20 years ago.
~ Tony Callaghan
Lockerbie …. I hope everyone in SCOTLAND gets cancer.
~ John Wright
Lots of anger about Lockerbie bomber release. Worth noting that the case against al-Megrahi was always somewhat dubious.
~ Matthew Pallas
Why did they release that bloodthirsty killer MEGRAHI? COMPASSIONATE GROUNDS! What about compassion for the Lockerbie victims families!
~ Henry William Louis
So Megrahi is released. I am proud that we are capable of such humanity even as we still grieve for those lost at Lockerbie.
~ Clare Meikle
Oh Scotland, may I remind you that Muslims have no concept of compassion and mercy. Freeing Megrahi will be a show of weakness in their eyes.
~ Rachel Hunter
Mind is changed on Megrahi, [Scottish Justice secretary] MacAskill made good points…. Hopefully this will help build bridges with the East.
~ Thomas Scott
Totally and utterly shocking that #megrahi – mass murderer – is now FREE!! Where’s the justice??? I’m ashamed to be Scottish today!! >:-(
~ Colin Sales
“Where’s the justice” is a good question.
I contend that there is none to be found here. How do you make the deaths of 270 innocents just? What action could one possibly take at this point to create justice out of this, or this? Read More
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David on August 27, 2009
It seems that we are members of the only animal species that lives most of its life knowing that it’s going to die. I sometimes wonder if life would be easier if we didn’t know it. It really is the worst of all spoilers. Happy Monday, by the way.
Now, there are other animals that do seem to realize when death is approaching; venerable elephants famously leave their pack to die in seclusion, and dogs and cats often run away from home or hide when their end is near.
But I suspect they don’t quite know why they’re inclined to do these things. It seems unlikely that they do it out of a rational understanding of their life cycle; I suspect that the urge just mysteriously comes over them along with the illness and weakness, and they take heed.
In any case, they don’t seem to know what’s coming until it’s on their doorstep.
Human beings, for better or worse, inevitably gather a more complete understanding of death, and very early on. We learn the concept of death as children. A person can’t live for more than four or five years without discovering the unpleasant fact that they are ultimately, well, doomed. Every child soon encounters a situation that someone else must help them understand by breaking this sad news, whether it’s when a pet disappears, when they ask where their grandma’s grandma is, or when they watch the Mr Hooper episode of Sesame Street.
Read More
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David on August 17, 2009
I’m fascinated with how our world changes over a relatively short time. Technology, infrastructure, culture and fashion just can’t stay put for long. Humans are so amazing because they have a habit of completely reinventing their habitat every generation or so.
Undoubtedly this is also a big reason why we are so troubled. Every generation is faced with an environment for which their parents could not prepare them because it never existed before. Old-fashioned values don’t always work so well when the world is continually being fashioned by the new. “Always eat everything on your plate” may not be such great advice when today’s average portion size is triple what it was in 1950.
I guess what is most interesting to me is that the human being — the animal itself — stays more or less the same, but its tools and toys and general way of life change so completely. I wasn’t around before 1980, but even in that short time, technology has completely revolutionized our lifestyles, with some interesting complications. For example, who in 1991 could have predicted that by age 28 I would be spending twelve hours a week and writing on a “blog”? Read More
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David on July 13, 2009
It seems to me that person by person, humanity is just beginning to wake up to something great. Every day I see evidence of more and more people taking a step back from the well-worn grooves of tradition, and finding a way to live that makes sense for themselves.
More people are quitting the corporate race to work for on their own. Fewer parents are deciding what their children’s careers will be. More people are living unconventional lifestyles, choosing jobs, diets, parenting styles, clothes, music and creative pursuits that speak to them more deeply than the traditional prescriptions. The old-fashioned vice of conformity appears to be losing out to the human spirit.
What this means is that fewer people are being funneled into lifestyles that don’t fulfill them, religions that don’t make sense to them, and careers they dread. This leaves many more individuals who are free to listen to a deeper voice within them, the inner advisor that tells them what’s right for them if they remain still enough to hear it. Read More
I'm David and Raptitude is a street-level look at the human experience -- what makes human beings do what they do, and what that means in real life.
I write about how to make sense of the earth's most ridiculous animal, how to get better at being one of them, and how only those two things can save the world. 
Wow, this was so inspiring, David! Thank you!