Your Little Corner of Time

Post image for Your Little Corner of Time

Look away from the screen for a moment. Take a half-minute off from your blog-reading and look at the people and objects around you right at this instant. Get a good feel for the moment’s scenery and emotional tone, and when you’re done, read on.

(Do it now.)

Back?

I have a question for you:

Where are you at this exact moment in your life?

Obviously you’re in front of a computer screen of some kind (maybe a smartphone), so give us a little bit more context than that.

Where are you right now, physically, and how did you get there?

When I ask “how did you get here” I’m not looking for something like, “I rode my bike.” I mean, what circumstances and incentives brought you to this exact place you’re sitting now? What were you looking for that brought you here?

And I don’t mean these as rhetorical questions either. Tell me in the comment section below. Where are you right now, what’s going on, and how do you feel about that? Use a fake name and email address if your current moment involves hiding from bounty hunters or smuggling knockoff Ray-Bans and you’re concerned about privacy.

There are a lot of places you could be. Time and space can serve up a gazillion unique little corners to find oneself in. Maybe you’re riding a creaky city bus, iPhone in hand, on your way to a job you just started Monday. Or you might be first one in the office this morning and the main overhead lights aren’t on yet, because you wanted to tackle something you know you should have done yesterday. Or you could be in your roommate’s room, ready to click the browser closed and pretend you weren’t using his laptop, because you know he gets home from the gym around now.

But you’re right here. Look away from the screen again for a second.

That’s yours, for now. Your lot. This little corner of time you’re in — is it the result of a direct decision on your part, or is it more a product of what you might call “happenstance”? Did you decide to be here or did it sort of settle out this way?

Are you waiting on something? Avoiding something? Excited for something?

What moment have you arrived at, in this, the Greatest Story Ever Told?

And one final follow-up question, if you feel like answering it:

Do you feel like you are where you’re supposed to be?

I know that’s a subjective question and there are a lot of ways to look at it, but it’s definitely answerable.

That’s all I want to know. Please tell me. The reason why will come in the next post.

R

Photo by striatic


***

{ 168 Comments }

Anna May 26, 2011 at 2:30 am

I am on the sofa in my room. I moved here two months ago. It’s the first time I’m not sharing a fridge, because there’s a tiny kitchen area in one corner. The freedom!

Home is where the post-it with your to do list is, so this is definitely home :) And I do feel like I’m supposed to be here – but doing different things than reading blogs.

{ Reply }

Rosie May 26, 2011 at 2:34 am

I’m pretty much at home, tired from a night of my mind keeping me awake ’cause I started writing a movie script yesterday and the ideas are many. It’s exciting and not really something I’ve done before, I don’t know where it could go but I hope it takes me somewhere, as long as wherever it takes me feels this much like home. Although this would be more of my home if my best friend were here. He is home.

{ Reply }

Sasa May 26, 2011 at 2:42 am

I’m a 30 hour plane ride away from home in an apartment in a small town in Austria. The move that brought me here was the 8th time I’ve moved countries and the 28th time I’ve moved house. My boyfriend is from here and we came because my visa was running out in Japan and I wasn’t ready to go back to New Zealand just yet.

I feel a bit drained actually. Moving around so much takes a big emotional and financial toll and I’m in the middle of packing up again to move home without him, though he’ll follow when he’s done with school in a year.

{ Reply }

Daniel M. Wood May 26, 2011 at 2:55 am

Great question.
I got to where I am today through an interesting series of choices.
First I decided to get a summer job so I asked around. The only job I was really interested in turned out to be a full time job, so I took it.

After 1,5 years at the company I asked my manager to give me more responsibility, even though I wasn’t really ready for it.

I got it and grew a lot.
Then I became manager myself and then got to start an office in another country.

The only steps forward I did in my career was because I asked for it. Nothing was ever given for free, I asked for responsibility, I asked for a manager job and I actually quit my job until they offered me the chance to start the office.

This is one aspect of my life, I could go through the rest.

{ Reply }

vic May 26, 2011 at 3:37 am

I’m at work, doing my thing. I got here when I pretty much failed at studying. Well I don’t know if you can call it failing since I wasn’t really interested in the subject which caused my motivation to plummet.

So after I figured out that studying right then wasn’t for me, I applied for jobs, and this is where I ended up. I was supposed to find some more motivation for studying from here, but I ended up loving my job. I got promoted and I’m still loving this.

Do I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be?
Well.. I’m happy, but I don’t feel like I’m going anywhere with my life. I’ve always had an urge for adventure, but very rarely does that actually happen; I guess I’m not such an adventurer after all.

{ Reply }

Jessica Lim May 26, 2011 at 3:41 am

I’m at home…or what used to be home. I just got done with my second year in college and I’m back in the house I grew up in, but it doesn’t feel like home anymore. About 3 nights ago I realized that I really, really do not want to be here for the next 2 1/2 months… So no, I do not feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m looking into moving into an apartment for the summer instead. I’m waiting to find out if it’s going to work out. Presently, I’m not excited for a whole lot…

{ Reply }

grace b May 26, 2011 at 8:31 am

JL, I’ve definitely been in your position. Going home for the summer during college is incredibly hard, I wish you luck! Hope the apartment works out!

{ Reply }

Lydia May 26, 2011 at 3:46 am

I’m sitting on my bed at my dad’s house while everyone is asleep. I’ve spent a lot of time in this room doing just that, years- biding my time. But this summer is different because I actually have solid and tangible plans to get where I’ve always been going. I’m fresh off a year of challenges that taught me not to make the same assumptions I’ve come to rely on and I now am ready to begin the life I deserve. It’s mine, and I’m taking it. I’m not exactly where I’m supposed to be, but on the edge of it. I feel a lot of things about that.

{ Reply }

Steven S May 26, 2011 at 3:49 am

This is a god shot. I am 3 days sober, sitting in my bed miserable and not able to sleep. I have been 7 months sober before, but I keep screwing up. I cannot sleep because I cannot find a single position to get comfortable in. My mind is obsessing over a girl, in turn makes me want to use even more. I have felt completely tied to the universe these past 3 days until 5 minutes before this landed in my inbox. I have been laying here trying to meditate, I even asked my “god” to show me a sign of hope. Then you popped up with this.

Am I here because of the things I have done in the past? Most definitely!

{ Reply }

Colleen May 26, 2011 at 4:32 am

Hi Steven,
stick with it mate. 3 days is 3 days and you only have to make it to four and then to five. It can’t be easy but it sure will be worth it. I wish I had more than that bit of useless wisdom to share with you but I am asking your God to give you all the hope you need.

{ Reply }

Steve May 26, 2011 at 11:35 am

Thank you for the kind words, Colleen! I eventually fell asleep :) My goal today is to just make it through day 4. I am stuck in the middle of my own world of intense emotions, but I just keep saying to myself that there is light at the end of this dark tunnel and this too shall pass. For now, I have to build my spirituality to supress the evil that creeps in from time to time. Thanks, again :)

Steve S.

{ Reply }

Kiki May 27, 2011 at 6:46 am

Hi Steve,
keep it up. Trying to make it through the day has been a good approach for me on many days, especially for those days where I feel stuck and overwhelmed in a negative sense. Be patient with yourself, forgiving and loving!

leigh May 26, 2011 at 3:51 am

i am sitting at my desk in a job i found after 1 year clean and sober. i had left the rehab i had checked myself into for 4 months and i needed work. a friend hooked me up with an interview at this ad agency and ive been here for two plus years now. i am in the city i was born in and grew up in, again more out of happenstance than choice, as when i left rehab i was told to stay in durban, as geographical moves would distract me from my purpose of getting strong in recovery. as happens in this seaside town, i stayed and stayed, long after i felt that strength, long after i realised i wanted to leave to pursue the life i wanted, and blamed my slackness on new job, on family, on anything external to avoid the real reason: leaving is fear because leaving means i need to start taking responsibility for my life and seeing if i can get the life for myself i believe im worhty of, instead of just rocking the situation i find myself in, to the best of my ability.

when i came to this place, this job, this house im in, i was looking for stability, for a sign that i had changed enough as a person to have better things, more mature things and to hold them together in ways that i could not before. now i have proved that, i have two years of no warnings at work, no evictions from my house, no debt. and im waiting for a sign that its the right time to leave, to take that next massive step to leave the safe and suffocating cocoon ive built around me. im equally terrified and excited at the prospect of standing on my own two feet, in a new place, pushing for a present and a future that i CHOOSE.

in the Greatest Story Ever Told, im at the end of the change stage, thirty years of living life a certain way with a certain belief structure and then three years of change, and now the cocoon is breaking and my wings are slowly stretching out. this last bit has had troubles and painful experiences that rival none, but if change is painful, then hell am i changing. and when i pack this life up and move onto the next stage, i know im entering something, not running away from something else.

i have never felt like i am where im supposed to be or that i am WHO i was supposed to be, but i am beginning to like who i am and where i am, regardless of that. and that has to count for something, right?

{ Reply }

Ola May 26, 2011 at 3:53 am

I’m at my desk in my baby son’s room which doubles up as my home office. I’m in Cornwall, UK, where I moved to with my husband, then boyfriend, when we found out we were going to have a baby. He’s going to be 9 months old on Sunday. He’s right next to me, trying to climb onto my lap.

It’s amazing how almost everything in my life right now is determined by this little baby: when I work, when I sleep, when and what I eat… And he’s completely dependant on us. Before having him I was travelling by myself and then met my husband and we were travelling together. We got a rucksack baby carrier the other day to go hill walking with the baby and we’re getting our son used to the elements and camping so we could travel as a trio. In a way, nothing’s changed.

I can hear the ocean roar through the open window. The wind’s picking up… It’s all good.

{ Reply }

Tor May 26, 2011 at 3:56 am

I’m in the basement of my house, listening to Desire by Bob Dylan. The reason I’m in the basement instead of in my room is that this is one of the few vinyl records my brother owns of Dylan, the only record player in the house is here and I prefer the format over headphones on a computer. For the last two months or so I’ve listened to Dylan’s albums chronologically because I’m going to see him in Oslo at June 30th and want to get to know his music better than I did. I’m both waiting and am excited for the concert, but I also very much enjoy the present.

In most ways I’m where I’m supposed to be. I have a feeling that the things I could get better at, I will get better at with time – and then again, would I really be more satisfied if I didn’t have something to work on?

{ Reply }

DiscoveredJoys May 26, 2011 at 4:09 am

I’m in my ‘upstairs front’ computer room, where I’m working on my book. Even though it is threequarters written, I’m going to tear it down and start again. I’m not unhappy about that.

Previously I worked for the same company for 33 years, getting promoted, doing different jobs. Some of the earlier ones I disliked (but I needed to feed my family), but the last 20 years were good ones.

Even so I decided to take early retirement (at a reduced pension) after a couple of years reflection and preparation. The work was still good – but the Dilbert strips became eerily relevant and I decided that there were much better things to do with my life.

It took me 2 years to ‘wind down’ from my pressured job. I am glad that I am now not rushing from meeting to meeting, or stuck in a traffic jam. I am now enjoying life more and often grin as I walk around.

The moral of my story as an older person is that life can be good or made good – but rather than making changes in days and months, steady changes over years can deliver what you want. Rushing at change can be a high risk tactic – strategy may be a better way forward.

{ Reply }

Kotarah May 26, 2011 at 4:19 am

I’m sitting in a room. My boyfriends boxers are on the floor as he’s in the shower. I’m sitting with my kitten on my lap. There’s papers everywhere, a garbage in front of me, and a book to the side instead of being in my hand where it should be. I realize I spend far too much time on the computer, neglecting the person I love the most. I find I expect him to change when I do not. This is the greatest love I have ever known, and in some ways I feel like I’m wasting the time. I’m trying to hold things together, instead of just enjoying. As I try to hold things together, they naturally fall apart. What other course could they take? I’m timid. So timid with the fear of being hurt, when yet he comforts me in every way imagineable. He is my soul mate. The best love of my life, and the only man I could ever hope to want.

I have a hard time letting things go. Recently my health has gotten worse and I’ve realized I’ve had to let go of a lot of the stress within my life. So unfortunately that involved telling a very close friend that I could no longer associate with them. I miss that friend, but I know that things are better this way.

I strive to live a life of beauty, of freedom, and I’m wasting my time. Thank you Raptitude for helping me to realize that my life needs to change.

{ Reply }

Leviathan May 26, 2011 at 5:19 am

I’m living with a friend after spending a couple months in a car and finally getting a second job with more hours. My first job didnt pay as much, and Ive been bouncing back and forth with places that didnt do good business and eventually either laid me off or got shut down. Im going back to community college in the summer to get my aa then transferring to a 4 year to get a degree in film production.

{ Reply }

Chris May 26, 2011 at 5:23 am

I’m laying in bed with a head full of cold and my friend is renovating the house downstairs with the radio on full volume. All I want to do is sleep for a couple more hours but there’s no way that’s gonna happen now. My room’s a mess but I don’t have the energy or inclination to tidy it right now. I was looking forward to reading an inspiring raptitude blog but find myself thinking and doing work instead. thanks for that…

It’s great to be living with my friends, far better than living with my parents but I don’t really want to be here. I’m excited to be traveling later this summer and more excited to hopefully be going back to university next year. i expect that it will turn my life around for the better

{ Reply }

Ayshela May 26, 2011 at 5:25 am

physically, I’m at the kitchen table in a darkened house because I’m the only one awake (save for the cat).

In the larger sense, I’m in a new house, in a new state, farther away from where I was born than I’ve ever lived before.

What brought me here was my partner’s promise long ago that once the kids were grown and gone, he’d get me out of the region we lived in then before my being allergic to 90% of the plant life there killed me. (seriously. given the annual pneumonia progression, I probably had five more years.) What brought me to this SPECIFIC place was an elegant compromise between what he needed and what I needed, whereby we both got everything important to us and flexed on the things that weren’t earthshaking.

And for all that I’ve moved into tornado country in one of the worst tornado seasons in 50 years – yes, this feels very right. It makes sense on every level I can reach, including gut check sense of rightness. This alone feels a little strange for me. I’m not used to the harmony of every answer being YES, this is where I should be right now.

I rather like it. =)

{ Reply }

S. May 26, 2011 at 5:28 am

I arrived back from ‘Angleterre’ just 10 hours ago. Crossing the Channel by boat gives one a sense of history. Anyone with just a little curiosity would surely want to go and see what lies on the other side.

So now I’m home in ‘Ile de France’ and the layer of dust and the disarray surrounding me reminds me that I’ve been away from my little corner of the world for the past week. For the next few hours I will bemoan the mess left by my man and my boy. I will water the plants, sort the scattered papers, dust the surfaces and such until I settle in and begin to contribute to the disorder myself.

I’m content to be home looking things up, knowing that the machine in front of me has most all the answers, retains every detail, speaks multiple tongues and helps me to fill in my blanks.

I have returned yet I remain an outsider in this land, but not in this home. I know every detail, every nuance, color and shade.
I long to begin to paint the landscape of my life.

{ Reply }

Katie May 26, 2011 at 5:29 am

I’m sat at my desk at work. I should be working but I’m too excited about going on holiday in a few days. I look around and see the people I work with, the place where, unintentionally, my career started and the place where I met the person that makes me happy.

How did I get here? A series of events over the last four years, part chance, part conscious decision making. But all stemming from a door closing that at the time I was heartbroken over. I think the last four years have been the greatest chapter of my story so far. The chapter before ending with an all time low; a low I remember thinking I would never recover from. But in this chapter I have grown, I have found me, I know what I like and what I want, I know who I am, I like who I am. Four years ago I would never have predicted I’d be here: confident, happy, with a job I enjoy and am good at, with many good friends, with my own successful business, with someone who loves me for who I am not who they think I should be. Right now I am where I want to be. And it makes me smile. I am happy with my little corner of time.

So yes, I do feel like I am where I’m supposed to be, it feels right. And I’m excited to find out where I’ll end up next.

{ Reply }

The Dame May 26, 2011 at 5:29 am

Right now Im sitting at my desk in my bedroom in front of my 27′ iMac that I got as a gift last week from one of my slaves.

I didnt think I would be back in England after living 2yrs in Australia but I didnt plan that out very well. As it happens, I tend to go with whats happening instead of setting goals and often find myself surprised at where I end up, and not always happy.

However, I am blessed to have what I have. Of course, I would like to be in my own home, making a steady income online and living back in Australia, debt free. But as it happens, what I do have, is exactly what I deserve. You get out what you put in.

{ Reply }

Alter Esel May 26, 2011 at 5:30 am

I am in my apartment and it is 3 am and i can’t sleep, At age 81 i feel my life is falling apart. Even though this is new territory, it does not feel like a new venture or a new challenge. It is more like something to put up with.
And if this is indeed the place where i am supposed to be, . . . . well, it sucks.

{ Reply }

Carrie May 26, 2011 at 5:31 am

Sitting in my home office before heading out to work this morning. I probably shouldn’t be here RIGHT now – I should have gotten up earlier and gone to the gym, which would mean I’d have read this an hour ago. But more seriously, yes, I feel like I’m more or less where I need to be. My life is amazing. I’m looking at going back to school soon, and that’s scary and big and exciting…we’ll see how it turns out.

{ Reply }

Silvia May 26, 2011 at 5:38 am

One thing led to the other and I find myself in Australia, a long way from the old home. I attribute everything that happened in the past 35 years to be a product of choices I have made – some good, some terrible. I am not where I want to be, I still have a long way to go. I need to be “here”, wherever that happens to be at any given time, all the time. A mental illness is a serious hindrance; the mind wanders or gets stuck in some pretty dark places and on a few occasions I have been “this” close to toppling myself. My hope is that I learn to be in the here and now as often as possible, so I can again enjoy the things that give me pleasure in my life.

{ Reply }

Denise May 26, 2011 at 5:58 am

It’s early morning, and I’m in my bedroom in a city I just moved to May 1st. I moved here because I lived here before 10 years ago and wanted to move back ever since. I live in a fabulous place that I chose, and have a roommate. I got here by the scenic route, long, unexpected and twisting. I’m very excited about being here, and though things are very new, sometimes unpredictable and still settling, I feel like this is exactly where I’m supposed to be, like I’ve lived here for years and not just a few weeks.

{ Reply }

Jessica May 26, 2011 at 5:58 am

I’m in my boyfriend’s living-room, in a town near Paris, France. He’s on the other side of the table, programming a game on his own computer. What brought me here? Having lived abroad all my childhood. Loneliness which developed my curiosity. Depression and a few failures. The choice to leave my parents and my country town to study in Paris. It’s been three years now, I’ve had my lot of hard times but everything’s finally starting to come into place, even if I’m scared about my exams and don’t know what I’ll do if I fail again. I’ve been with him for two years now; it’s my first real relationship, we have several projects for the summer, and next summer, and after. For the first time, I think I have found someone who will not disappear and a place I want to belong to.

{ Reply }

Tilen Krivec May 26, 2011 at 6:14 am

I’m at the desk in what used to be my bedroom but has over the last few months turned into an office with a bed in it :)

About to sit on my bike, drive down to the old city center, sit in the sun and drink coffee :) So yeah, could be worse

On a more “meta” level, I’m here because i quit college and focused on learning to do something i’m passionate about. And yeah, i probably should be working right now, but hey, a Raptitude post is worth taking a break for!

Where i’m supposed to be? Right path definitely, just not as far along as i’d like to be. But hey, i guess that comes with the territory :)

{ Reply }

Char (PSI Tutor:Mentor) May 26, 2011 at 6:19 am

Am definitly where I am supposed to be because sometimes it gets very uncomfortable~ like moving that last half meter of enriched soil for the veggie/flower patch in the morning (it has been 3 weeks!).

Right now am finishing email replies to students and want to relax cause I have a headache, my cat is not happy (annoying) and it is so cold!

I am very happy and contented to have a cuppa tea to go to and some tv to zone out on, warm sleep and then wake to a day of glory in the tropics.

{ Reply }

Vicky May 26, 2011 at 6:43 am

I am sitting in my partners bed using his iPad, in his room of our home while he is at his desk working at his computer. It’s late, our boy is in bed and I’m keeping my partner company by just being in the room. His dad is dying and it’s a strange and unfamiliar process. My place in life is much like the wee paragraph above. Living with the father of my child, very much friends and support while also living separate lives. Family is what is important and is what I have based my decisions on that have gotten me to where I am today… Sitting here, in my partners bed, in his room, keeping him company for support in this difficult time, while typing away on here and listening to the gentle rain on the roof. I am comfortable. Am I supposed to be here? I am still learning things about myself in this unconventional situation I find myself in and I wouldn’t NOT want to be right here, right now…
BUT another part of me feels that in a parallel universe, I never got pregnant and I actually got on a plane to explore the world and diverse cultures and magical scenery… And became the free- spirited gypsy I’d always imagined myself to become…
So part of me feels that I’m supposed to be right here, and the other part feels that I would be suited to being elsewhere… So I settle for a compromise and aim to explore my current surroundings with the same curiosity and wonder as if I was abroad.

{ Reply }

David May 26, 2011 at 6:55 am

Wow, these are fantastic. So many corners of time I could never have dreamed up on my own.

My corner of time: I’m sitting on the end of my couch. It’s 6:50am. I’ve just finished my breakfast (kasha with walnuts and blueberries) which I eat right out of the pot. It’s sunny but I know it’s chilly outside. I wish I had more time before work, but I’ve still got to make my lunch and get ready. My job, where I’ve worked for the year since I got back from New Zealand, is good as jobs go but it’s feeling like a temporary condition at the moment. I’m looking past it.

I’m excited, about summer and about my progress with my anti-procrastination experiment. I’ve hit my stride in the productivity department and finally feel like I’m able to make happen whatever I want to make happen. I feel like I am where I should be, but I wouldn’t have said that a month ago, when my procrastination habit was really spoiling things for me. I am also a bit nervous about finding a way to buy Pearl Jam tickets while I’m at work. My friend’s wife will be home when they go on sale and I’m sure we’ll work something out if I can’t be in front of a computer at 10am.

{ Reply }

David May 26, 2011 at 9:50 pm

My corner of time is a little more secure now that I have tickets to Pearl Jam

{ Reply }

tiki rose June 3, 2011 at 4:15 am

good for you! Love Pearl Jam =)

{ Reply }

michi May 26, 2011 at 8:08 am

I’m at the kitchen table of my bf’s house. And happy! Cat mewling to go outside, clock ticking calmly in the background.

I met the bf chasing a crush, having driven 17 hours on a whim only to be rebuffed…instead I met the boy. Now, 6 months later, we live together and discuss marriage and children, and I couldn’t be happier.

It’s no secret to me that I let the winds of fate blow me around. I am studying for the Wisconsin bar now, but up until a month ago I thought I’d be moving to Boston to study for Massachusetts instead. I had an apartment rented and everything. A life planned. Oh well, things change!

Now I am at home, putting off more grueling studying for a moment.

{ Reply }

Brian May 26, 2011 at 8:20 am

I’m in my bedroom in Ypsilanti, MI, where I moved to figure out what I wanted to do with myself after college. I was feeling directionless, but I knew I didn’t like the path I was on. I think I have a better idea now, and I’m ready to be somewhere else, but I’m here for a while yet, just saving money and whatnot.

{ Reply }

Joshua May 26, 2011 at 8:24 am

I’m at work, at a job that challenges and interests me. It took a while, but I finally found something that uses the skills I got in college. I’m earning more than I spend, and I just might ask my girlfriend to marry me in the next 6 months. I think I’m just where I want to be, for the first time since I started college.

{ Reply }

Tracie May 26, 2011 at 8:24 am

I’m in front of my laptop in my new apartment’s sunroom. My coffee cup (still full of coffee) is beside me, and I can see three plants over my laptop. These are the first three plants I’ve ever kept alive for more than a week. There’s a pile of yesterday’s mail (all circulars) on the table in the next room which needs to find its way to recycling, but otherwise there’s nothing out of place in my spare, not quite minimalist place. (That makes me very happy.) I’ve been in the apartment for 3 months, and this is my favorite place in it. Even though it’s hot here, this room always has a breeze if I let it.

I don’t describe NPR as “1500 miles away from home” anymore. Sometime in the last couple of months this Became home. I’ve never lived alone before and I mostly love it. On top of that, sometime 12 or so years ago I walked away from the path I’m pretty sure I was supposed to be on… Maybe I needed to leave it to learn some things, but I’m now finding my way back to that path. I’m battling a major depressive fall, and putting off hard things like eating breakfast and walking to the kitchen to write this, but I’m weathering this swing better than I’ve ever weathered one before.

Everything I can notice tells me I’m where I’m supposed to be.

{ Reply }

harpergrey May 26, 2011 at 8:27 am

I’m sitting on the couch with my wife, taking a few minutes of calm before I leave for work. It’s my sixth day of a summer job as a communications intern for the City, and — even though writing press releases isn’t the same as writing fiction or introspection — it still feels strange to be getting paid to write. Strange in a good way, I think.

My corner of time right now is a place of motion, a driven place. Not so much a motion outwards — we’re staying put for the time being — but a digging deeper. We’re working on figuring out who we are and what we want to do with ourselves, and how we can use our skills and our passions to make things better. For ourselves and for as much of the world around us as we can touch.

Do I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be? Does it matter? Here is where I am, so here is the time and place I’m going to focus my attention on, to find all the brilliant parts of it. :)

{ Reply }

grace b May 26, 2011 at 8:28 am

I’ve been thinking about this a lot! (outside of this post–nice timing)

I’m currently in my bedroom at my parent’s house (well, it’s my house too). I graduated college two weeks ago so this is where I am until I get enough money together to move (possibly by Christmastime).

I recently started a part time retail job (selling cupcakes) that I really enjoy and it gives me money and something to do most every day. I’m waiting on another job as well (at a horse farm). Currently procrastinating (bad I know!) writing a freelance article or two.

As for how I’m feeling I’m pretty comfortable here. The other day I got an offer from a program I applied to in California (Episcopal Service Corps) which would start in August. I’m about 80% positive I don’t want to go–I don’t want to make that kind of commitment now, I don’t want to give up a lot of the control I’ve recently gained in my life (no longer living the school calendar life).

I also decided to challenge myself to read 50 books (for fun!) this summer. Totally psyched about that.

Great post David, I’ll be bookmarking this page!

{ Reply }

AJ May 26, 2011 at 8:45 am

I’m sitting in my friend’s living room. I moved here 2 months ago because he invited me to stay here and join him in a new internet startup as well as it being closer to varsity for me. I joined university again to finish the course I dropped out of 8 years ago. I couldn’t before because I was working too far away, but I came back to my hometown because the company I worked for closed down and my fiancee left me.

The circumstances which set of this chain of events was definitely happenstance, but I also made some big decisions to sit here where I’m sitting now. I’m excited to be attending university again, I’m excited for our startup, and I definitely feel I’m meant to be here at this moment doing what I am doing.

{ Reply }

Maria Long May 26, 2011 at 8:49 am

uh-oh, supposed is a word that implies you pushed the wrong button on the elevator. supposed is a feeling of obligation/shortcoming. like a court summons. Even if you feel you are where you are supposed to be, it is still some kind of putting your time card in the slot in the nick of time before the you hear the late siren. How do you feel about where you are? If you KNOW where you are it feels obviously right.

{ Reply }

Big Sis May 26, 2011 at 8:50 am

I’m sitting in front of my work computer on my last day of work before maternity leave. I’m eating my oatmeal like I do every work morning and planning my day (or at least I will as soon as I get off the internet). My feet are freezing because the sun was so deceiving this morning and I wore sandals.

Do I feel like I am where I am supposed to be? Absolutely. Ask me again a year from now when I have to leave two kids in someone else’s care and go back to a paying job and I can guarantee a different answer.

{ Reply }

Steve Mays May 26, 2011 at 8:56 am

I’m sitting in my favorite coffee shop (where everybody knows my name). I’m listening to wonderful new music on a magic slab of aluminum.

I love my work and my life (I’m 63). I can’t wait to see what happens next.

{ Reply }

@peace May 26, 2011 at 9:07 am

I’m at work. It’s 3pm here (UK). I’ve got a cup of green tea to hand and was just taking a break from a slightly tedious task. But I feel happy. I can see the sun shining outside through the windows by my desk. There are 3 other colleagues in our part of the open-plan office and it’s very quiet. All I hear is a mini symphony of keyboards being typed on. It feels rather peaceful actually.
That’s my little corner right now :)

{ Reply }

Claire May 26, 2011 at 9:09 am

Wow. Seriously, WOW! You ask good questions. Timely questions.

Yours are emails that I read everytime. There aren’t many!

I am sitting in my room surrounded by boxes and furniture and items of my life. I am moving in two days and I’m partway through the packing process so everything is kind of everywhere.

But I’ll tell you, this has been the most liberating thing I have done for myself ever in my life. I had determined that I wanted this move to be more than just ‘put it all in boxes and get it moved’… This was to be a ‘go through everything and cull and be focussed and set myself up to have the life I wanted rather than a life that reflected my baggage, physically and metaphysically’ kind of move.

My word for this year has been ‘focus’. Not as in pay attention but to zero in, determine the things most worth focussing on, distill the most important and let the rest fall away.

This move has been an unbelievable outward expression of that. I knew it would be good but I had no idea…

A new season of my life is beginning. I have NO idea what it will look like but I am so so so excited to see it unfold.

Throwing away that crap I have accumulated has been sloughing off the fear and shame and negative feelings and beliefs that have been holding me back. I feel freedom and a lightening and enlivening of my soul.

And am hopefully kicking my procrastination habit out the door along with it!

Thank you for asking good questions.

{ Reply }

Rose Siboney LaLuz May 26, 2011 at 9:11 am

I am sitting in my warm bed with my little dog curled up at my side, a small but relevant heartbeat, and the first cup of coffee for today close at hand. I can look away from the laptop’s screen to the world outside my window and see gray/blue skies and a wind tossed tree.
I am here because five months ago I left my marriage of 31 years in order to pursue love with another man and seek myself and my happiness. The man is still elusive but Self beckons me and the happiness solidifies more each day. I am excited for the future though it is a mere glimmer of dreams on the horizon. Yes, I believe I am where I need to be right this very moment in order to be present for the heart of the questions you ask. Thank you David.

{ Reply }

Stefan May 26, 2011 at 9:15 am

Hey!
I’m sitting in my apartment in the corner with my little desk and my laptop on it. At the breaks I’ve looked around and started to clean up some things that are lying around here for weeks now without being used and cared for.
I think I’m supposed to be here because I didn’t watch the little signs in the last year good enough (I had plenty of them) respective I didn’t know how to handle them. That’s what I’m learning now, to get better day by day.

{ Reply }

Trisha Dodson May 26, 2011 at 9:19 am

At this moment, I am at my place of employment. I hear the waterfall in the background, clock ticking and the coffee brewing behind me. Its early in the morning before everyone gets here. I have a lot of stuff to do today (thankfully).

I found this job when I really needed one almost six years ago. I loved it, worked hard, and got burned out. It took me awhile to get out of that funk but I realized I like what this company does. I’m drawn to the outdoors and thats what we do.

My responsibilities are minor which often makes me question if this is what I want to do for the remainder of my life. I read a comment that stated he asked for more responsibilities and got them and is growing because of it. Good comment. I’m thinking about that.

I have good bosses, good atmosphere, but pay is peanuts. Is this where I am suppose to be? At the moment it feels like it is but the journey isn’t over yet.

{ Reply }

Patricia May 26, 2011 at 9:21 am

I’m inside my sleeping bag, on a mattress on the floor of a friends garage. I moved here two days ago because where I was living, who I was living with, was emotionally unbearable. I have not had real work since September so I can’t afford to rent an apartment. I’ve been existing on scattered pt jobs and the assistance of friends. I’m partially disabled. I do not collect unemployment insurance since I was self employed for three years prior to this. I have no savings. I’ll be 58 years old next month. I have two college degrees. Experience in film production, photography, graphic design and miscellaneous other things. I’m also a musician and I’ve worked as a chef.
How do I feel about this? Not good. Is it “happenstance”? Hardly. I’m the one responsible for this. I’ve made several bad decisions in my lifetime. Have I given up? Not quite. I’m still trying to enjoy something about each day as it comes. I’m still looking for work.
I have good friends who care about me. And I’m warm inside this sleeping bag, sipping a cup of coffee as I write on my laptop this morning.
Do I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be? No but I’m responsible for this. I can’t blame it on anyone else. Am I satisfied with it? No.
I thought my life was going to be much, much different. Do I still have hope that things will change? Yes, for now I do.

{ Reply }

Colleen May 26, 2011 at 9:24 am

I’m in my office at a rehab center in the northwest corner of Alabama, where I’ve been working as an accountant for the last four years. Voices are buzzing all around the hallways because we had severe thunderstorms last night – my power and internet are down at home – otherwise I would have been reading your post there. Trees have fallen everywhere, and debris fills the streets. We are all paranoid about tornadoes since over 300 people lost their lives south of us last month. We feel uncomfortably vulnerable now.
I applied for this job on a whim, even though I wasn’t altogether qualified, after being fired from a true ‘job from hell.’ Am I where I’m supposed to be? Probably – I’m available and able to help care for my elderly disabled parents, and my daughter (a single mom in college) and grandson. My husband of 35 years is finally working after 5 years of unemployment.
Am I where I want to be? No, not really. I’ve tried to change careers a couple of times, but am always sidetracked by family responsibilities. I would rather have been a teacher, or a research psychologist, or a biologist doing field work, or a homicide investigator. But I try to focus on the positive aspects of my current life, fully enjoy moments here and there, and try to plan for a better future.
I’ll tell you one thing – anyone who tells you he/she has absolutely no regrets is a big fat liar. If I had it to do all over again knowing what I know now, of course I would have done a lot of things differently. But (I remind myself regularly,) I don’t have it to do all over again, and neither does anyone else, so stop whining! This is where I am.

{ Reply }

Maxim May 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

I am a really good college student with a double major in music and economics at one of the best public schools in the country. Until I had to go and screw it all up. Now before you rightfully assume that I’m being arrogant, consider this: none of it ever comes easy. I was a “smart-but-lazy” student in high school, overloaded myself with extracurriculars, and finished with a “good-but-not-good-enough” GPA of 3.4-ish. I watched all of my friends get into some of the best schools in the country as I got left behind in what most of them considered a safety. It was the worst feeling, knowing how bad I WANTED to go to a top school, but realizing that because of my grades – mistakes of a year or two ago – I couldn’t. I applied to 11 schools, many of them top, and was rejected at 9 of them. Yeah, I over-reached, but it still hurt like hell. So, when I came to college, I decided this wouldn’t happen again. I knew I was smart, and I decided that should I choose to apply to a good school two or three years from now, I want my grades to reflect the kind of student I am. And I held true on that promise, overloading myself and pushing through with very good grades up until this semester. This semester I let others get the best of me, quietly became overwhelmed, and really messed up. Now is time to apply to a very prestigious business program, and I can’t, because my grades for last semester are just not acceptable. It stings, and I feel like I’m back in high school again. Of course I’m gonna pull it together and get much better grades for the next few semesters, (I’ve got a year left,) but I’m missing an opportunity already. So that’s where I am.

{ Reply }

Hope May 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

Currently listening to The Landing by Duster (very mellow band, highly suggest it if you’re into those kinds of tunes) still in my bed at 10:23 in the morning. As I sit here, like I have repeatedly when I should be out and about appreciating the world that’s in front of me, I continue to think. Think, think, and think. I’m aware that I haven’t been where I want to be for a considerable amount of time. It’s all about action. I picked up a book yesterday, and Alexander the Great reminded me of that. Pursuing what you want. Just noticed my lava lamps are still turned on from last night, and i’m smiling. It’s all in the little things. My surroundings, for the most part, keep giving me a small taste of my brand new outlooks. Slowly but surely. On a path to be moved from Ohio to California in a year. Right here and right now, I can say i’m happy. The sun’s also out. What more could I want in this exact moment but good weather and solid glimpses of exciting things? Beautiful question. I enjoyed this article :)

{ Reply }

Emily May 26, 2011 at 9:37 am

I am sitting on the shredded (by cats) red couch in the living room of my father’s house in Ohio where I now live with my three children. It is 10:24 am, and I have to get ready for work soon (as a child and family therapist) and have that vague feeling of anxiety in my chest and upper abdomen that I have every day when I have a full schedule of clients. Once I start, it usually gets better, but after 20 years in the profession I still get anticipatory anxiety and wish sometimes that I could work with plants for a living, or be a yoga teacher or something, but I have three kids to support.

This is the house I grew up in, lived in for 18 years, and now I have had to return in my late 40s following a divorce, bankruptcy and foreclosure. My cat Spats is sleeping on the ottoman in the bay window. My 86 year old father is sitting in his chair, trying to brave it through another episode of gout. He has lived in this rambling century home for over 50 years. Alone since 1990, until we moved in.

I am not excited about anything or looking forward to anything. This is most unusual for me.There are very many seemingly contradictory emotions about my situation; gratitude and defeat, anxiety and yet a deeper peace and acceptance, things being “ok” and “not ok”, or ok even thought it is not ok.

I accept that wherever I am is a decent stand in for where I am “supposed” to be. I try not to resist the present situation too much; it’s a cloudy day, but pleasant. I really should be making phone calls prior to going in to work, but this is an enjoyable procrastination.

My three year relationship with the love of my life (aside from my children!) is currently in the process of ending and there seems to be something big and looming on the horizon in dealing with that, but I can bear it. After having my family unravel and holding young children at night crying for their father, I can bear pretty much anything with respect to intimate relationships coming and going.

Life is indeed strange and wonderful, and terrible and funny, and one finds oneself in the most unexpected of situations…thanks for the questions. Being able to talk about yourself, even in this anonymous way, has a universal appeal. We all need to be able to tell our stories, and feel that, even in some small way, they matter.

{ Reply }

Maegan May 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

Drinking coffee in my home on my couch while my son walks around in my boots. I got here, on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state, about 11 years ago with my then fiance. I met him in Louisiana while going to school for Pre-Med. I quit school after he got his Masters and we moved to the West coast. I never went back to school and I’m so very glad. I’ve been a barista, a jazz club waitress/bartender/manager, candle maker, farmers market manager, factory seamstress and manager. Now, I am a full time mom and I make jewelry and sell it on Etsy.
I live to make myself and my family happy and healthy. We eat local, organic produce, grow a garden, eat at home except for the rare treat. We live far from our family but have very firm roots in this gorgeous place with mountains, ocean, Canada across the Strait & Seattle and Portland a drive away. I am very grateful and proud of how far I’ve come in my life. I think living in a small town forces you to be a better person. You have to interact and be real with people you’ll see every day for a very long time.

{ Reply }

Lindsay May 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

I’m not sure I agree with the small town making you a better person thing. I think it depends on the small town you’re in. I grew up in a small town (population 3,000) and there are a large number of lifers on welfare, meth addicts and victims of a lifetime of poverty.

However, if you mean “being friendly with the neigbhors” aspect of a small town, then I would have to agree. You can’t be a jerk to the person who lives next to you because chances are, they’ll be living next to you (and talking about you to the other neighbors) for years to come.

{ Reply }

Lindsay May 26, 2011 at 9:55 am

I’m on my sofa in my apartment on a tiny street in the Little Italy neighborhood of Toronto, Canada.

I absolutely feel like I am where I am supposed to be. Is it where I want to be? Not necessarily. But I’m supposed to be here, most definitely. If I wasn’t supposed to be here, I wouldn’t be. Is that too simplified?

{ Reply }

diana May 26, 2011 at 9:58 am

I am on the biggest journey of my life right now. It’s hard, it’s fun, it’s challenging, it’s rewarding, and sometimes it sucks. But being mindful of my choices and being loving and honest especially when I want to do what’s easy, is some challenging work. Each day is filled with more joy, peace and rewards.
All the choices and experiences have brought me to the teachers and guides in my life right now, whether it be body, mind or spirit. It’s turning into a great event.

{ Reply }

Bryce May 26, 2011 at 10:27 am

I am sitting here burning a dvd of my senior year accomplishments in film production. I’m feeling the self set pressures of what I want and need to get done this summer before I head off to college. And of course the imposing feeling of college is looming thick and heavy over me at all times and I still am pulled between excited and anxious about college which is just fine with me. I am currently pretty content with where I am sitting and where my life is, at least right this instant.

{ Reply }

S. May 26, 2011 at 10:36 am

I am sitting in my classroom nibbling on my lunch…avoiding the negative talk about students, cuts in the budget, gossip about other staff members that often takes place in the teachers lounge. I am enjoying this few minutes of peace and quiet to re-charge while I check up on the world via the web and I am thankful for this job that I find so amazing! I am right where I always wanted to be.

{ Reply }

Emma Barry May 26, 2011 at 10:44 am

Right now I am living at home for the summer. I’m diligently job hunting for pretty much any job, although I would really adore finding one in my major. I have a year left of college. I was meant to graduate this year, but I’m a bit behind. I’m ok with that though, I don’t feel ready to enter the real world quite yet, although I’m getting there.

Right now, I am really liking where my life is at, aside from the job bit. I’m kicking ass in school, I am in a wonderful healthy relationship, and I’m happy with myself as a person. I feel so lucky to have found a major I am truly passionate about and enjoy, and seem to be talented in as well.

I feel that I did decide to be here, and as much as I wish I could hop on a bus or plane and have an adventure, I know that I have time to do that. I feel proud to be getting my second degree in graphic design, and I am excited to see what the future holds.

More specifically, I came downstairs to my computer to check my freelance email about a new job I may begin work on in the next couple days. I am excited to begin working on it, as this client seems to be quite nice. I still have to write up a contract before I start so I do not get screwed over like I have in the past, but I have not let the past make me cynical. It has just made me more careful about how I work.

{ Reply }

Christina May 26, 2011 at 10:47 am

I’m sitting on my friend’s bed. My luggage sits on a table next to me. I’m listening to my friend buzzing around in her bathroom as she gets ready after a grueling session with Robert, her trainer. At this moment I’m in major transition. I’ve jumped off a cliff, sold my house for almost double the price that I bought it for and I’m moving to my hometown, Austin. I leave tomorrow morning.

I left a job I didn’t love and I have no idea what I’m going to be doing when I get to Austin. It’s been a three year process to get me to this moment. Two bouts of cancer (I beat it), the break up of an eight year relationship, finding myself and making strong connections (and re-connections) of my own. I’m sad, scared, nervous, relieved, excited, happy and grateful at the same time.

{ Reply }

Jeanine May 26, 2011 at 10:56 am

You’re a survivor, and you’re amazing! Not to mention inspirational. Never forget this moment in your life! Good luck.

{ Reply }

LunaJune May 26, 2011 at 10:48 am

I am in my basement where I read all my morning emails..
it use to be my bedroom for the last 2 years of my dogs life
which in my world.. were the most emotionally tough, at sometimes crippling years of my life…at that time..but of course from surviving through it I know that everything I learnt up till then helped me survive it…and in a wave a gratitude I stand here and allow everything that was to float away…and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all that matters is this moment.

I look around and I see this house and to know it is mine…for years I told myself I could never afford to live by myself let alone own it !
it was a painful road and the loss of a 30 year friendship for me to see the light on both things…and I am so much lighter and alive then ever before.

Am I waiting for something ?
Yes for my new best friend/lover/partner to manifest into my life
and as I wait.. I live to the fulliest… enjoy every moment and continure to strip away all the things that hold me back from believing that I don’t need anyone.. which has been one of my core beliefs my whole life… I can do it all myself….it has giving me the strength to believe that I can.. but at the same time has pushed people away who may have wanted to help.

I have always believed that you could whatever road you want
they all lead to where you are.
Daily with my job and my nature to want to help I am truly where I should be…reaching out a hand to help.. going beyond and back for those in need if I can…and only in the last few years have been able to say out loud… I Rock ! and allow others to say ‘You’re the Best June ” and not shrink from the praise…
glowing with the knowing that we are all connected
glowing with the flowing of the unfolding
and glowing with the humour that keeps me healthy happy and
sparkling day after day.

I want to thank you for the Rapitude…. thoughts are things
have an awesome day

{ Reply }

Tess The Bold Life May 26, 2011 at 10:50 am

Hi,
Great reflection opportunity. I’m at my kitchen table. I just came in from a 6 mile run and ate a bowl of fruit and piece of cheese. I’m training for a half marathon in June.

Hubs and I are leaving this afternoon to go see daughter no.3 in Atlanta for a long weekend.

The sky is blue the sun is shining. We both grew up in Michigan and left for Arizona 4 years ago. Best thing we ever did. We were determined not to grow old in cold, snow and dark skies. I’m fallin’ on my knees with gratitude.

{ Reply }

Laura May 26, 2011 at 10:51 am

I am at work, in my own cubicle where I have sat and worked for the past 5 years. This was my first professional full-time job after college. I feel into it because I needed a job. This job has served me well for the last 5 years. I have grown professionally and gained the experience needed to advance my career. I have met friends who have introduced me to some of the most important people in my life. But, it is stagnating and there is no more room for the growth I want here. I am on the cusp of a change. I am on the job hunt again. This time I am able to be more selective for my next step, I’m not just looking for another job, I am looking for the right opportunity. I feel pretty good about that.

{ Reply }

Tiva May 26, 2011 at 11:03 am

Sitting in my room of the house I lived in when I was in high school. This room used to be my mom’s room. I moved back here in 2002 when my ex-fiance said “I just don’t do it for him anymore” right after we had sex. My mom was kind enough to let me move in with her. Then 2 years later, she moved out to be with her newly married husband. My brother moved in with me a year after that. Mom stayed married just over 6 years and is now divorced. She also moved back in. So now we all live here together to save money.
I am currently in a long distant relationship and have been since 2007. I never see him, but have become so good at texting “I love you”. I work at yellow cab as a cashier and have had this, my longest job ever, for almost 8 years now. I would like to be in a different state, doing different things, surrounded by different people, but somehow life feels the need to have me here. I see the reasons why I am here and truly believe that I am doing the best with what I have. Enjoying my family’s company. We all go to the movies every week… it’s out one night together, and brings us closer, helps us not feel so alienated from each other. I, just like many others, get so fed-up with my job and my coworkers, but I do the best job that I can… and it shows. People compliment the job I do all the time, even though I simply get so tired of working there. I know that when I do the best I can, it really does help others… and that makes it not so bad, when I know I am helping others.
Honestly, I am waiting for the day when my long-distant boyfriend asks me to move in with him and to someday be his wife. That would be ideal, but until then, I will be here doing what I need to be doing.

{ Reply }

Yolanda May 26, 2011 at 11:13 am

I am in the kitchen of my tiny home, sleeping pets drowsing around me, waiting for that exciting moment when I stir and begin uncovering the parrots and changing water, bringing fresh food, etc. I bought this house in ’94 after some traumatic experiences opened a window to financing. It’s tiny and was shabby before I fixed it, but it’s all mine and has a lovely big yard for gardening. I have put a lot of my love into my Villa Sub Rosa and she cherishes me in return. When I first met this house, she wrapped herself around me, though she were cold and shabby and empty, and I felt the warmth of her living bones enfold me and comfort me. She still does. She protects, comforts and shelters us and that is all one could want from a house.

{ Reply }

vicki May 26, 2011 at 11:37 am

I am at work right now. I am here because of responsibility. No, I don’t mean I got up and came to work this morning out of a sense of responsibility, I mean I am where I am in life out of a sense of responsibility. Responsibly, yes I am where I am supposed to be. But as far as my individual soul and where it fits into the whole scheme of things, probably not. Where should I be? I don’t know. It has been a lifetime since I have based a life changing decision on what would be good for me. Therefore I try to find my inner happiness and make wherever I am the “right” place to be.

{ Reply }

Owen May 26, 2011 at 11:43 am

I’m sitting at my desk at work trying to work but constantly being distracted by thoughts that sound very similar to this article. Half of today I’ve been wondering how I ended up working in an office writing code when I really want to be outdoors doing a fun active but lower paying job. Half of me is wishing I’d skipped uni 8 years ago and gone straight to being a snowboard instructor, I might not be earning as much as I am now, but I’d enjoy my work a whole lot more…

{ Reply }

Janet brandon May 26, 2011 at 11:54 am

It’s 10:30 very cool out, yet the sun has decided to try an appearance.So I’m off to walk the dogs.
Loved all your entries and see that we are all so different yet so similar, every response could have been mine from every different age and stage of my life. I know I’m in the right place because I created it, circumstance may have forced some choices I’ve made, but I fully and completely own my life and take responsibility for all that is right with it and all that is wrong with it.
A sense of humor and a forgiving attitude helps alot.
Enjoy the day(:

{ Reply }

Chris Walter May 26, 2011 at 11:57 am

I’m 22years old and laying in my moms basement with a macbook on my lap, staring at bare blue walls and clothes on the floor.

I am here because I’ve made a conscious choice to live as inexpensively as possible in order to save for an up coming project.

This past week I just passed $50,000 in savings and I have a departure date of September 12th 2011.

The struggle for me has always been to try and be as present in the moment as possible and make the deliberate choice to be happy right now and not plan my life away.

Very Thought provoking, thank you David.

{ Reply }

Kimolisa May 26, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I’m sitting at the counter of the hardware my family owns. What brought me here? Being absolutely clueless of what I wanted with my life right out of college and at the time I believed my options were limited. Now I don’t think that way anymore but now, I can’t leave the business. Honestly, I don’t want to be here but I pretty much gave away that choice.

{ Reply }

April May 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm

I’m in the back bedroom/office emailing invoices to our rental houses tenants. Physically it’s not very comfortable, as the heat is off in this room and I’m sitting on a hard swivel stool. My hands are icy cold and my foot is falling asleep, and I’m crunching numbers. Sound appealing? Ha ha! I feel I have to or should do this job, so that the rent will get paid on time. As for how I got here…well, we bought rental houses which we had hoped to sell by now, but the market tanked, so we are hanging on to them. Though it has all come about by my own choices, I have not chosen the repercussions, which feel forced upon me. ~Can’t wait to read your next post and I absolutely loved the Bull in China Shop post!!

{ Reply }

Dazi May 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm

I am in my office at work, I got here after 9 long years of university. I am not happy, I love my coworkers, hate my job. I find that i am not where i should be, currently i hold an upper management position, director below the CEO, I feel this place needs some serious guidance and overhaul.
…I am hopefull on my way out…

{ Reply }

Ted May 26, 2011 at 1:25 pm

I’m at work now, my place of refuge from “home.” Fortunately, I like my job and my colleagues.
My wife and I have been married for a long time–neither the best nor the worst of marriages overall–but her recent health problems, in large part self-induced, have made me increasingly reluctant to be around her. She also regularly exhibits abusive behavior towards me. Yet her physical and mental health are both so bad that I just don’t think it would be right to leave her. She thinks she could take care of herself, but she is delusional. She wants me to retire so I can be with her all the time; this is not an enticing scenario.
So, my little corner of time is not a good one. Not sure what the future holds in store…

{ Reply }

Axeell May 26, 2011 at 1:38 pm

I am here at home at my desktop computer. I am reading a blog, I got here from school. I am here because I need to study and this was the funner option my excuse for it is that this is also learning.

I don’t feel like I should be reading a blog now when I should be working, but I am glad I got here and learned I am here, and that there is an hour old banana peal next to my screen ;)

{ Reply }

Melissa May 26, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Where am I? I’m sitting at my table in my “living room” in the upstairs of a friend’s house. My partner of the last two years is playing DDO on his computer a few feet away, and my cat is snoring happily on a blanket I just finished crocheting for him in front of the open window.

I am still dealing with the fallout that was 2008 (also known as The Year That Was Burned At The Stake), which was the year my life more or less exploded. I’m still trying to pick up the pieces and dig myself out of the pile of ashes. How did I get here? Bad luck and bad timing, mostly. I got laid off at about the same time I found out that my fiance was having an affair with the woman I had thought was my best friend of 15 years. I went to school to get a better job, but became partly disabled soon after graduating (not enough to qualify for assistance, but enough to not be able to work in the field I trained in). I keep working on finding a new way out of limbo.

Am I where I’m supposed to be? Oddly enough, I think so. Do I like it? Hell no. But it has given me the chance to see how badly my old life did not fit, and to try and start over. I just wish that things would go a little easier, for once! ;)

{ Reply }

Ashley May 26, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Right now, I am sitting on a couch downstairs, Wired and a backpack to my side and this laptop on my lap. I’m here because I just came home from school, and it’s cooler downstairs. But as for why I’m here-here, I think it’s just happenstance. I feel like I have had little control over the way I’ve led my life so far, and that my life has consisted of asking permission or asking other people to do things for me. I feel like I’m waiting for that day when I get to take control. Maybe it’s already come, in some ways, but I just can’t see. I imagine some older readers have felt/still feel the same way.

As for where I’m supposed to be…I can’t see anywhere else I could be, so maybe, I’m supposed to be right where I am right now.

David, I’m really looking forward to your next post!

{ Reply }

Tom May 26, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I’m alone,at work,in my optometrists office. I don’t know how I got here. Or rather,I do,and admitting it makes me sick at heart.

Fear. Lack of confidence to do what I always wanted to do; to break free of these confines.

I don’t belong here.

{ Reply }

Gretchen May 26, 2011 at 2:20 pm

I just got home from working one of my stupid jobs, I’m still sick with this horrible “smokers” cough and cold from last week and the temperature feels like it is 150 degrees in here. I’m very uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in my life as well, having difficulty coping with the stress of just graduating college and still living in my parents’ forever financially unstable home. I feel like I have nothing to really show for myself at 23 years old. I’m stressing over the guy that kept saying there would be time for “us” after we graduate, but now that we are graduated he’s not so sure. For some reason this was a shock to me… but not really a surprise. I am just trying to take it one day at a time. This blog helps a lot :)

{ Reply }

nrhatch May 26, 2011 at 2:32 pm

I’m in my home office in Florida . . . looking out the window in front of my desk at a palm tree and a lagoon populated with pelicans, egrets, herons, and the occasional otter.

I am exactly where (and who) I want to be at this moment in time.

Who we are now is a product of what we once wanted. Who we are is the result of choices we’ve made. That is true whether our choices flow from deliberate, conscious evaluation of options and possibilities, or from mindlessly following the preferences of others.

http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/09/28/who-you-are/

Looking forward to your next post, David.

{ Reply }

Renee Sala May 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I am at home sitting at my newly varnished kitchen table listening to the birds outside while the sun beams in the back door. Home is a little house that I rented on my own last year to stand on my own two feet and run my kids art school (Crafty) after a long few years of living with the wrong people. I’m currently moving forward after a break-up and my home is my sanctuary. I feel safe here. Safety means being able to be myself, to enjoy the life I lead without question, to change the life I lead if and when I feel the need to.

The stability and comfort of having this home to live in, surrounded by familiar things, family photos, good smells from baking, a garden to grow, and a cat to curl up with is what reminds me everyday that I have so much to be thankful for, and that’s what keeps me going.

I thought about your question all through my yoga practise this morning, and it really came at a perfect time as without knowing it, I’ve been asking myself the same thing. Thanks David!

{ Reply }

Joe May 26, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I’m at my computer in the house I’ve lived in all 22 years of my life. I just graduated college and am jumping right into a graduate program, mostly because I cherish my free time and I’ll do anything to put off having to surrender 40 hours/week of it to someone else’s cause.

Not to say that my free time is well spent. I’m a smart guy but I’ve done nothing in my whole life that I can say I’m truly proud of. It seems I spend every free minute contending with procrastination, indecision, and what David Foster Wallace called “analysis-paralysis”. I want to artistically express myself, to learn more than what I’m taught in school, to build and create… But it seems all I do is think.

I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I know nothing is coming to save me. But here I am.

A couple years ago I would’ve thought I was the only person in the world who felt this way, but Raptitude has convinced me that I’m far from alone. Thanks for everything you write, David.

{ Reply }

Rachel May 26, 2011 at 6:04 pm

I came home and got on the computer after I got out of English class. I only have one class per day now since we took AP exams. I have lived in this house for eleven years. I got on the computer to play Minesweeper, which I have been sort of obsessed with since I saw my friend playing it a couple days ago. I’m thinking about what colleges I want to apply to. I’m thinking about a boy. I’m waiting for more standardized tests in the next few weeks.

{ Reply }

Christine May 26, 2011 at 6:26 pm

I hurriedly read your post this morning, checking my emails as I inhaled my breakfast. I didn’t have time this morning to reply to your questions, since if I had taken the time to do so, I would have been late for the office. I have had your questions in my head all day, although my job is so incredibly stressful and pressure-filled that it is only now, at 7 pm that I am able to finally sit down and really answer your questions. My little corner of time is filled with a job I dread going to, having to cajole and talk myself into getting out of bed every single work day. I don’t have this problem on the weekends. I have been weighed down by this job that seems to be killing me excruciatingly slowly and choking the life out of the other fabulous aspects of my life. I have known for quite a while now that I need a change in career paths, but for some reason, fear keeps me immobilized. I am where I am because of my actions (or lack thereof.) Am I waiting on something? Yes, I’m waiting for an easy transition into a new career. A new job that will pay me what I’m paid at my life-sucking job. As a single parent, it seems like money is the all-important determining factor when it comes to career paths. Am I avoiding something? Yes, the hard work it would take to completely switch life paths. Excited? No, not currently.

Do I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be? Philosophically, yes, because I believe I’m here to learn a lesson, and will be here until that happens, at which point I will move on to something else. Am I where I want to be? No.

Thanks for shaking me alive again. I am responsible for where I am and only I can change it.

{ Reply }

sui May 26, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I’m sitting in an office I don’t directly work in. I’m friends with everyone who works here and the new boss is my partner. I got here by walking up the stairs, after taking the bus, after walking to the bus stop from my home.

I feel like I am where I’m meant to be, and I’m going where I’m meant to be.

{ Reply }

Andy Metcalfe May 26, 2011 at 7:17 pm

It’s a little after 7pm and I’m sitting at my kitchen table in my apartment. I live in the city of Iquitos in Peru in the middle of the Amazon jungle! The only way you can get here is by boat or plane. It’s a place that’s colorful, vibrant, unique and more than a little crazy at times – and unlike anywhere I’ve ever been! I love it here and yes I know I’m where I’m supposed to be.

I followed my intuition to come and live in Peru 2 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made, although it never really felt like a decision, more like something I knew I had to do. Somehow, somewhere, it felt like the choice was already made for me.

Right now my thoughts are all centered around next week where I will be facilitating an Ayahuasca retreat for the first time. I’m excited and a little nervous at the same time. Ayahuasca is a sacred and very powerful plant medicine used by the shamans of the Amazon for healing and accelerating spiritual growth. It can be an incredibly intense experience for most people, but the transformations that people experience are almost always profound.

{ Reply }

LSC May 26, 2011 at 9:45 pm

I like to believe that I am where I am with my job because of my own decision to be. I chose to take this ‘stepping stone job’ because I am waiting for acceptance into school again and conveniently this job is relevant to where I want to be and will give me good experience etc.
However, lately I’ve been dreaming and tentatively planning where I would like to be instead. I feel like I’m more focused on where I want to be or ‘need’ to be instead of where I am right now. Maybe because I always think to myself this is a ‘stepping stone’ job/phase for me in order to get to my ‘final destination’.

{ Reply }

David May 26, 2011 at 9:47 pm

I am blown away by these stories everyone. Little vignettes of real, live human lives. Keep them coming.

{ Reply }

T May 26, 2011 at 10:26 pm

I’ve put my kids to bed and I’m using this corner of time to surf until I’m tired enough to fall asleep. It feels like I am where I am because life has happened TO me, not because I’ve chosen to end up here. So many sentences begin with “if” – “if I didn’t have kids when he left I would have moved back to Toronto, gotten a job downtown and lived in a condo, eating sushi for dinner and going to the symphony every week” – “if I didn’t have to provide for my family I would work for a non-profit and spend as much time as I could travelling the world and photographing civilizations past and present” – “if my kids were old enough to look after themselves for an hour or so I could take up running”… The if`s imply that things have been done to me -divorce, single-parenthood, office job to pay the bills – but the truth is that I am where I am because I’VE chosen my path – marriage, parenthood, career. The question is more whether I`ve made my choices in the knowledge of who I really am. This particular corner of time tells me that the answer to that is no.

Of course, I also firmly believe that it`s never too late…

{ Reply }

Tehanu May 26, 2011 at 10:52 pm

At this exact moment I am using my battered netbook in a very empty college dorm room with a very sad extra-long twin bed behind me. I am missing my husband and my cats and sleeping. I feel very much like a monk in a cell and the pile of papers next to me are what I have to illuminate.

I am a graduate student, but this is not my school. I’m attending a research conference coordinated by my advisor. I’ve been put up in the cheap housing. It’s 11:21pm and I am drinking coffee (I am a tea drinker) so I can catch up with presentations I have to give tomorrow and then transcribe notes from break-out sessions. I have driven 20 hours in three days and have another 3 hours to drive tomorrow. THEN I will be home, and can sleepsleepsleep. But I’m not there yet.

I am here right now, in this linoleum room, entirely of my own volition. I can trace the decisions that brought me here back to quitting my stable, well-enough-paying dream job because it was killing me.

The conference has been very exciting, with a lot of amazing data being shared and it’s filling my head with questions and ideas and avenues to investigate my own work. But I’m still frustrated that I had to cover so many people’s butts today and that I wasn’t further along in my own prep to be able to sleep now. It makes me laugh that a good day is one in which I both shower AND eat after answering all of my emails. I’m missing colleagues I left behind two days ago and actually don’t really want to go back to my own university because I haven’t found my community there.

But this is the life I chose, this modern apprenticeship. This is where I’m supposed to be in this corner of time. I thank you for the moment of perspective!

Now back to work ;)

{ Reply }

Marcy Paric May 26, 2011 at 10:56 pm

New to the game– I DID reply to your question- but in the reply box. How do you get into the little box you want us to use- how do youget a picture to actially PASTE into it (I can only copy it). What I’m saying is the subject matter great. My computer skills aren’t. Can you help me so I do this more properly? Thank you! Marcy

{ Reply }

David May 27, 2011 at 6:28 am

I did get an email from you, because you replied to the email the site sends out. Did you want to post it here in the comments instead?

As far as I know there’s no way to put a picture in the comments, but you can put it somewhere else and put the link here.

{ Reply }

trishadawn May 27, 2011 at 12:05 am

I am…. I am here. I am home. I am post-great day at work. I am loving life. I am searching. I am hopeful. I am learning. I am listening. I am knowing. I am experimenting. I am sweet simplicity. I am incredible abundance. I am ready, but not sure for what!
What an exciting precipice. What wonderful potential. More aware every day of what a fortunate life I live…. trying every moment not to choose the “right” decision but to choose what is good for me, healing for me, and the most loving decision now.
I am here. I am healing. I am hopeful. I am.

I love this blog. So happy I discovered it.

{ Reply }

Dogmom May 27, 2011 at 2:10 am

I am where I have put myself in my home. In a spare bedroom that has no bed but has become an office. So there is a file cabinet, stacks of paper, an overcrowded desk, book cases and for something living – 2 plants.

How did I get here – I realised at age 48 I still had at least 15 years of work before retirement and wanted something more than I had – so I returned to school. Now I work and study. Its a direct decision rather than happenstance. I dont want to just keep working and cant afford to just study so I do both.

I am waiting in anticipation – hoping that when I complete my studies my new qualification will open some doors and bring positive change. I am also avoiding some things in the past.

{ Reply }

Felix van Driem May 27, 2011 at 4:33 am

I am catching up on mail and such before having lunch with my stepdaughter. I’m in the bedroom because the contractors are here remodeling our home and it affords relative peace and quiet. We are all excited about the changes and are enjoying the results. Yes, this exactly where and when I want to be but I am looking forward to lunch.

{ Reply }

Antony May 27, 2011 at 5:03 am

Where am I, and how did I get here?

I sit alone at a round table in a kitchen that is clean and orderly. 17Inch Dell Vostro 1710, Logitech mouse, an HTC phone and a bowl of fruit in front of me. In a house that is not mine. View of a beautiful garden, sunshine coming in on one side and blue sky visible the other.

I am house sitting in Cape Town. I am very grateful to be here as it is winter and cold. I deliberately left my family in Spain a year ago to be in South Africa because I felt drawn here. I read this blog because it vibrates with me and attunes me. I am here for the good of my soul. I am looking for a deepening of purpose in my life and a focus on what is meaningful, I find I have support within a community here to achieve just that.

I first arrived in South Africa a little over a year ago to take part in a residential course in the Drakensberg – this is my third visit here and I shall stay 6 months.

I arrived in CT 3 months ago with no foreknowledge of where I would stay but the day I arrived I was allowed to reside in this exceptional property. I have few overheads, I do SEO work on websites which I am good at. I have exceptionally high self esteem most of the time and I love my life and what life brings me to – most of the time. I often feel exhilarated as I do right now.
I have chosen to allow life to be my guide – this is no “happen stance”.

I can’t say that I am waiting for anything much at this moment. I am evolving my life to take on responsibilities that are at the moment not mine but are within my grasp. I am evolving away from avoiding and procrastination (thank you for your blog on the subject David), I want to live a full life, moment by moment without falling into past fears and useless patterns. This truly excites me, clarifies my purpose and, at times, leaves me in AWE.

I have no other place I would rather be.

Except maybe walking in the woods up these beautiful cape mountains on such a glorious morning. . .

> .steps out and closes door. <

{ Reply }

Liane May 27, 2011 at 5:06 am

I am sitting on my bed. Next I am getting the car packed up and heading to Boston for the weekend! I am absolutely where I am supposed to be in this moment and in my life.

{ Reply }

Kiki May 27, 2011 at 6:42 am

I am in my office at university. When I started going to university I wanted to do a PhD. After some years of working on my thesis on my own at my new home I was offered a job back at my home-university. So I am kind of where I wanted to be and I am not: I was seeking to find out whether I was capable of this academic challenge discovering that it is more than anything else a psychological one. The past few years I had to face blockades and anxieties. And now my relationsship that lastet almost 17 years is going downhill. Unhappiness is the feeling that predominates, but focussing on this very moment and this place I am strangely reconciled. Why this? I have the privilege of having a job, earning enough money to not worry about it. I am surrounded with some objects I enjoy the presence of and have a nice view into a quadrangle with trees and bushes where birds and squirrels come to visit. I realise I am not alone in my intellectual aspirations when I see the students through the windows sitting in a lecture hall.

What other questions are there?
Am I waiting for something? Oh, yes, for clarity, for development, for strength, for inner security. (Don’t think I am waiting on something though, but this might be due to my lack of knowledge concerning the English language.) I am avoiding decisions that make me feel uneasy and insecure. But I am working on that. And imagining myself having overcome all these difficulties I can even feel some excitement what joys life has in store for me. If I got there mentally I find this thought improper as it does not match my overwhelming troubles at all (of which I have more than I have told you here).

And to the last question: Do I feel like I am where I’m supposed to be?
Regarding my job I do think this, because I realise the way I am is a great help for most of my students. Of course I am not happy about all my personal problems and it feels odd to say I am supposed to experience all this turmoil, BUT it does make sense as I am forced to deal with conflicts I was able to ignore for a very long time.

Thanks for asking, David!

{ Reply }

yliharma May 27, 2011 at 6:46 am

I am at work, rushing to finish a project which has (as usual) been delayed several times…and I’m going to work the whole week-end…(complaining mode: on)
I got this job because I really wanted it badly and I still love it after 4 years (I’m a software developer), but I feel like I’m waiting for something…the problem is I don’t know what I’m waiting for!!! :D
Change, probably only a change. Not necessarily a new job (I like working here and I like my colleagues very much), but “something” new. Maybe a whole new life, the adventures and travels I’ve always dreamed of, or maybe a new house, being able to live on my own (I’m still with my mom because I can’t afford an apartment).
Or maybe a new “hobby”…let’s see what happens! :)

{ Reply }

Andy May 27, 2011 at 8:01 am

I’m in my house. I got here today by driving here. I live here because I chose it as somewhere I like the look and style of, and which is convenient to where I usually travel, and affordable.

Is it where I’m supposed to be? No, I don’t think so.
There’s quite a lot in my life I’m trying to change but it’s not easy. I’m slowly making progress I think though. I need to reach out to more people and make more friends, and hopefully before it’s too late find the lady who I can share the rest of my life with and start a family to share my love with.

It’s also not where I’m supposed to be because I was bought up on the other side of the world, yet moving back there is not right for me at this point in time either because I now have more family on this side of the world than the other! I have two homes, and yet I have no home. I suspect a lot of people who have emigrated might relate to that feeling.

This, however, is the best place I have right now and at least I’m grateful that it’s a nice house I currently call “home”. I have a fairly solid basis on which to build the rest of my life.

{ Reply }

Lauren May 27, 2011 at 8:27 am

I’m at home in Pittsburgh trying to decide how to spend my day off from school & work. After ten years of traveling around the US and Europe, I feel this is where I’m supposed to be — at least for the next five years. There’s something comforting about physically “settling” down in your 30s.

{ Reply }

Joy Langtry May 27, 2011 at 10:29 am

How intriguing!

I am in a home in NH that is 1,500 miles away from my husband in FL.

I came here to get it ready to sell it or be foreclosed, whichever comes first. I have not yet been able to find the resources I need to keep it, so I am working through the process of letting it go.

My parents built this house in 1989, then sold it to my husband and me in 1999. It holds ghosts, cherished memories, and boxes full of belongings from more than a half-dozen lives: my parents’, grandparents’, son’s, daughter’s and a little bit of my in-laws’, too, for good measure.

I am waiting for the bank to make a move, or a buyer to materialize; I am excited to be back here after 17 months away; I am challenged by the exercise of sorting, purging and saying goodbye.

And this is exactly where I need to be and what I need to be doing right now. I am grateful and blessed.

Anticipating your next post is quite delicious. Gives me something new to think about in the cellar. :)

{ Reply }

Steve May 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

I’m working in possibly the most beautiful offices / surroundings you can imagine, and it’s nearly 5.30pm on a Friday afternoon and almost time for the weekend. I am deeply unsettled. I am deeply in love with someone and it’s very complicated, meaning that I can’t be with her in the way I want, even though I’m pretty sure she loves me. I’m also desperately in love with travelling, although I spend the bulk of my time here at my desk. I love my life and yet I want more. More love. More adventure. I am determined to make it happen. Thank you for your post – it came at the right time :)

{ Reply }

Tom K May 27, 2011 at 12:19 pm

I AM everywhere. I AM nowhere. It THINKS it is somewhere…going somewhere else…or not. But somewhere…and that will be subsumed into every nowhere…somewhen.

{ Reply }

Naomi May 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm

I’m sitting on my sofa in front of my laptop in my work room, which is really the dining room, reading blogs and bothering facebook instead of working. I make stained glass and I am an illustrator, sometimes I write. Timely questions for me, since today’s been a rough day emotionally, sat on the beach (Worthing UK) and just cried. Thinking about where I am and how I got here has made me realise that I don’t regret a single second of it. No matter how hard and how lonely single parenthood is, it couldn’t be any other way but sometimes the load is mighty heavy. I moved here to do my MA in Illustration which I did because I wasn’t very confident about my work, I’m still working on the confidence thing :)

{ Reply }

Danielle May 27, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Specifically, it’s about 10am, and I’m still in my PJ’s, sitting in bed at my boyfriend’s apartment, reading my blog updates from my BlackBerry while he makes coffee. Yesterday was his 30th Birthday and while he crammed for Physics and Calculus finals, I brought him presents and made him dinner. It was a good day and today looks like it will be awesome as well.
To view my location in a deeper sense, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, and maybe for the first time in many years.
Almost exactly two years ago, I was working a string of dead-end jobs, I had just lost my apartment and moved back in with my parents (temporarily but without any clear idea of how I would get out again) and was participating in deeply unhealthy relationships and some very bad habits. I was unhappy, to say the least. I don’t even remember what it was that made me decide to tackle a certain class that had always stood in the way of me and the completion of my Bachelor’s degree, but I did. I demanded more from myself than I ever had before, stopped making excuses, buckled down and aced that pain in the arse class as well as the next one in the series; the last one I needed to earn my A.A. and transfer. A year after that, I got accepted to my top choice school in San Francisco, applied for Financial Aid, and moved out of the tiny hometown that was suffocating me. I was scared to death, but I basically dove in and just started swimming like I knew what I was doing until I got the hang of it. Now a year after getting accepted, I’m just one “B+” away from a 4.0 GPA for the first time in my life, I live in a city I absolutely love, and I somehow managed to wind up in a healthy relationship with a wonderful man of a caliber I had almost given up believing in.
It’s been the most challenging year of my life; not because of all the things that happened to me like in years past, but because of all the things I made happen this year. I refused to settle, made some very difficult sacrifices, and finally set higher expectations both for myself and the people I allow into my life. I managed to meet most of my expectations for myself, and though I had to accept some harsh truths about some of the people who didn’t rise to the occasion like I’d hoped, the outcome has been overwhelmingly positive overall.

So, to answer your question: I made decisions that put me where I am today. Some of them were decisions that I made without even realizing the tremendous ripple effect they would have on my life, but they all pushed me to stop settling for less than I deserved, even (and maybe specifically) from myself. I’m waiting to see how these decisions will play out and what the rewards will be in the long run, I’m avoiding the easy way out and the shortcuts that made me unhappy in the past, and (at the risk of sounding terribly cheesy) I’m thoroughly excited about what life has in store.
Thank you for asking.

{ Reply }

Katie May 27, 2011 at 6:40 pm

I’m sitting in my living room and doing nothing.
It’s a beautiful day, the birds are chirping, and I finally have some free time- but I’m aimlessly browsing the Internet. This scene has happened far too much lately. I’ve complained about having too much to do, but have taken moments of respite and done nothing. It’s been a demanding year, so this situation is a bit foolish.

{ Reply }

C May 27, 2011 at 7:26 pm

I’m in a cottage in a small town far from where I grew up. I came here with my partner for the summer, before following her either to Victoria or Halifax in the fall.

I have no job, I haven’t met anyone here yet. I’ve been wasting a lot of time since arriving. The book I have been planning to write over the summer is scarcely started.

Improvement. I can’t stop thinking about self-improvement, how I should be working on my writing or making money or taking an interest in people and making friends. I feel profoundly boring.

And now kind of whiny.

This is definitely where I’m supposed to be though. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

{ Reply }

Gabs May 27, 2011 at 7:42 pm

I’m in my room of a house I just bought with my brother after 3 years of hard work. I’m in my room on a Friday night feeling sorry for myself not knowing what to do with my life. Feeling out of place and not exactly where I thought I was going to be at this age.

Is this where I’m suppose to be? I guess for the time being yes because I was able to realize that I needed to make some changes in my life. I needed to take control of my life and start building my happiness. I needed to realize things I was doing wrong in order to grow. I just hope I wan find some balance and get new plans for what I want in my future and I want to do with my life.

{ Reply }

Peter May 27, 2011 at 11:29 pm

I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room in Seattle. My mother is sitting across from me. In a room a few feet away is my cousin and his immediate family. He came to the hospital yesterday with stomach pain to find out he had multiple aneurisms developing on a major artery and that he was going to need emergency surgery. Today we found out the aneurisms are do to a rare genetic autoimmune disease and he won’t even be able to undergo surgery without first going through chemo and steroid treatment. If the surgery is a success he”ll still have to continue chemo therapy for the rest of his life. He’s 23.
I spend all my time worrying about things that I think will happen only to be blind sided by reality. And so I find myself in an uncomfortable chair in a blandly colored hospital waiting room feeling sorry for myself while he is the one who actually has to deal with this.

{ Reply }

Alexandra May 27, 2011 at 11:44 pm

I’m sitting on my couch at home. Usually I would have some music on, or the TV, some kind of background noise… But I am enjoying the silence (well, almost silence, except for the hum of my heater, my laptop and my washing machine).

How did I get here? Well. My relationship ended two days ago. For the third time. And I know that I need to walk away this time, because I have ignored things for too long. Unfortunately, heartbreak doesn’t get any easier the more it happens… But I know that things could not have continued the way they were going without both of us completely self destructing. Sadly, knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less..

It has finally sunk in that, as the cliche goes, until I love myself, I can’t share my life with another person. And I have a lot of demons to face before I can even get close to loving myself. The thought of that is so overwhelming. But I have turned my back on my issues for too long, hoping they would just go away. Yeah, that really hasn’t worked so well.

David, this is my first time posting. I’ve been reading and re-reading your posts for a while now, and, to add my voice to your thousands of other fans, I just love it. It’s given me hope and comfort through some dark dark moments, and I thank you so, so much.

So that’s where I am and how I got here. I know that I will be ok. And I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, in this exact moment.

{ Reply }

David May 28, 2011 at 10:06 am

I’m blown away by these little vignettes of real, live human lives. I’ve received a lot of emails too. Everyone is right in the middle of an epic story.

A few excerpts that say so much:

I’m at work now, my place of refuge from “home.”

This is a god shot. I am 3 days sober, sitting in my bed miserable and not able to sleep.

I realize I spend far too much time on the computer, neglecting the person I love the most. I find I expect him to change when I do not.

I’m sitting in front of my work computer on my last day of work before maternity leave. [...] My feet are freezing because the sun was so deceiving this morning and I wore sandals.

My responsibilities are minor which often makes me question if this is what I want to do for the remainder of my life.

If I had it to do all over again knowing what I know now, of course I would have done a lot of things differently. But (I remind myself regularly,) I don’t have it to do all over again, and neither does anyone else, so stop whining! This is where I am.

…still in my bed at 10:23 in the morning. As I sit here, like I have repeatedly when I should be out and about appreciating the world that’s in front of me, I continue to think. Think, think, and think.

There are very many seemingly contradictory emotions about my situation; gratitude and defeat, anxiety and yet a deeper peace and acceptance, things being “ok” and “not ok”, or ok even though it is not ok … I accept that wherever I am is a decent stand in for where I am “supposed” to be. I try not to resist the present situation too much; it’s a cloudy day, but pleasant.

I was meant to graduate this year, but I’m a bit behind. I’m ok with that though, I don’t feel ready to enter the real world quite yet, although I’m getting there.

I left a job I didn’t love and I have no idea what I’m going to be doing when I get to Austin. It’s been a three year process to get me to this moment. Two bouts of cancer (I beat it), the break up of an eight year relationship, finding myself and making strong connections (and re-connections) of my own. I’m sad, scared, nervous, relieved, excited, happy and grateful at the same time.

I am in a home in NH that is 1,500 miles away from my husband in FL. I came here to get it ready to sell it or be foreclosed, whichever comes first. I have not yet been able to find the resources I need to keep it, so I am working through the process of letting it go.

I can’t stop thinking about self-improvement, how I should be working on my writing or making money or taking an interest in people and making friends. I feel profoundly boring. And now kind of whiny. This is definitely where I’m supposed to be though. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

{ Reply }

Michael May 28, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Sitting in a cabin in Pinetop, AZ. One of my favorite places to be. Because this place is my in-laws my road to the cabin is through my wife Molly. We were married 8 years ago this Tuesday. I am definitely supposed to be here, with her and my kids. They are where I am in life.

{ Reply }

tammy May 28, 2011 at 3:01 pm

i am a lover of the seashore, sitting in my own little cottage in the landlocked state of oklahoma. the state that had an outbreak of major tornadoes 2 days ago. tho sometimes i envision myself elsewhere, i try to ‘bloom where i’m planted.’ if my house had blown away, as so many did, i would be okay. i have very little “stuff.” maybe i would start over in a sea-town. still at 65, it’s nice to dream.
where i really am is simply happy. life is good.

{ Reply }

Rosa May 28, 2011 at 3:21 pm

I’m home, downstairs, supposedly working on a presentation. I’m here because it’s Saturday and I don’t want to be anywhere else right now. It’s my favorite place in the house, because I get a lot of fresh air, even though I’m inside, and there’s a small rattle that sounds like jungle and I’m taking the whole couch for myself, and I love it. :)

{ Reply }

T May 28, 2011 at 4:42 pm

I’m sitting in front of my laptop, in my room, thinking and worrying about n things and the only conclusion I’m coming to is that I need to get my sh*t together.

Growing up is scary, especially when you have no other choice.

{ Reply }

Harry May 28, 2011 at 5:23 pm

I’m sitting in my room, contemplating on going to the gym, waiting for a friend to text back to see whether I have plans for now. Maybe I should be a little more proactive with what I’m going to do? I’ve really wanted to go to this little coffee shop nearby that I’ve seen several times, today might be a good day to do that.

{ Reply }

isthismypurpose? May 28, 2011 at 6:10 pm

It’s 2am and I’m supposed to wake at 4am for my first prayer of the day. Each day I miss this prayer and each day I begin with guilt.

I’m sitting in the dark. My children are asleep yet I cannot relax. I dread the nights and I dread the mornings.

I am in the Mid East.

I am married to a man I do not love. I want a divorce yet he refuses to release me. If and when he does, I stand to lose my children.

I have little to no rights in my country.

I have no education.

I have no future.

I have no joy expect for my children.

I am not now nor have I ever been where I truly want to be.

I want to be free. I want to feel at peace. I want to feel loved and respected. I want to be happy. I want my children to be happy. I want us to have a new life.

Yet none of this is attainable.

My religion isn’t helping me yet it’s suppose to provide me with the answers. How do you worship a God you no longer trust?

My friends and family can’t help me. I can’t even help myself.

My corner of time is suffocating and slowly killing me.

{ Reply }

Salmah May 29, 2011 at 9:47 am

I can’t pretend to understand what you are going through but I read this awesome book that refreshed my faith in God: “When you hear hoofbeats, think of a Zebra”. Maybe it will help a little?

{ Reply }

I'm free May 28, 2011 at 9:32 pm

It’s Saturday night.
I’m in my home office.
I have been trying for months to declutter my existence – I have accomplished much. I still have more to do.
I’m female and 46 and single and childfree.
Yesterday I sold my business (the closing was yesterday) – a cafe I started 17 years ago. Tomorrow is my last day as owner.
I have no idea what I am doing next with my life. I only knew I had to get out of that in order to move on to the next stage.

I am definitely here by choice.
I have sold my whole identity (independent female small business owner) – wondering now – who I am. Eager to find out.

Sometimes I think I must be insane to have done this with no plan. Other times I am hopeful and filled with possibility and ideas and dreams.

But right now I’m just sitting in my office putzing around on the computer and thinking of the boxes I should pack up tomorrow.

{ Reply }

Anon May 29, 2011 at 3:27 am

This is what I wrote and e-mailed the other day. But I failed to answer the question ‘Is this where you are supposed to be?’ And oddly enough perhaps the answer is ‘yes’. You can’t end a 40 year marriage without a financial and emotional mess. Three years of grief, anger, resentment, frustration, fear giving way to ‘a muddle’ seems like a good deal to me, it gives me great hope. I’ve come a long way.

{ Reply }

Anon May 29, 2011 at 3:32 am

My life is in a muddle. Every so often, I clear my desk and put things away, but my life stays in a muddle. I thought I knew where I was going before my 40 year marriage dissolved overnight. I can put away the muddle on my desk, but I can’t un-muddle my life so easily. I can’t undo the pain, disappointment, shock, stress and insecurity. I am stuck in an emotional muddle.

Anon

{ Reply }

Phoenix May 29, 2011 at 3:53 am

I just have to say your blog is one of my favourites! Thank you for being and remaining so inspiring! Your posts are like a much needed breath of fresh air! Thank you for the opportunity to exhale! So where am I right now? Today finds me on a bank holiday weekend cramming for exams! What got me here? That little devil called procrastination! :D But some how I think I work better under pressure – the adrenaline kick gets my creative juices flowing! lol

{ Reply }

Procrastinator May 29, 2011 at 9:33 am

Its a Sunday afternoon, and I am staring at my computer, doing everything else besides work. I don’t like my work, even though it is pretty awesome(ly safe). I stay because I dont know what else to do. I studied for seven years all the while telling myself that I’ll find my calling along the way. Four years after studying and I am still as clueless as I was all those years ago. Am I supposed to be here? I don’t know where else to be, so I guess the answer is yes? I don’t even know what I want so it feels like i am going to be floating along this path for a very long time. I am not unhappy but I am not happy either… ?

{ Reply }

William May 29, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I am an American student studying in Sweden. I am in the kitchen of a hostel. I am here due to the government subsidizing my education. I am waiting on clarity. Avoiding responsibility and monotony. Excited for mistakes. (young and naive). I am supposed to be here (abroad), but I do not know nearly enough to decide if I am where I am supposed to be at home.

{ Reply }

Katy May 29, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I am currently sitting in the kitchen of a home in Southwest Michigan where I will spend the next 2.5 months. I work in theatre and this is the 6th summer I have spent here. It is one of few places that I feel truely attached to in my life.
I found this place through a suggestion of a friend and continue to return to it because of all the new and old friends I have made and continue to make.

I feel…torn – as to whether I should still be here or not. I gain nothing financially, and that always makes it hard. But some of the best memories of my life have happened in this place and all I want is to add to them.

{ Reply }

Michael May 29, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Right now, I’m in my computer room, as usual, getting in touch with my friends online and mindlessly browsing through the Internet, Facebook and whatever sites I usually stick to for the moment, just passing my hours away, before going to bed.

In a broader sense, I’ve started a new job with better perspectives than my last, although it’s still not a permanent job – if such a thing even exists, nowadays. I’m nearly finished with another year of college, hopefully passing my classes with proper grades, so this road towards my career becomes more and more reachable.

I don’t really know what I’m trying to do here, to be honest. Having started my academic life as an artist and now having changed paths into the field of psychology, even though I feel I made the right decisions to the extent of my possibilities, things don’t seem quite just right yet.

The future I glimpse for my career seems hopeful, but the means to reach it are rather lacking. I’ve been feeling rather demotivated since this course is much more theoretical than I feel comfortable with and, as an artist, this is rather unsettling. Still, all hope is not lost. We shall see. Luckily, life isn’t set in stone; we can always take a left turn and change as much as possible.

The one thing that bothers me above everything else is how I’ve been perceiving life in the last few years. When you live life in a sort of mechanized way, everything seems rather objective and simple, however when you set your mind free and start paying more attention, everything changes.

When I stop to enjoy the moment and observe all around me, life seems so magical; things, people, animals, nature, the sky, everything seems to coordinate so perfectly as time goes by. But when I cease that clear-minded, peaceful state and turn back to the chaos of daily life, everything seems so futile. That’s when I start wondering what exactly are we all doing here, so upset, so sad, so angry, so stressed, so hasty, so… decadent, to be honest.

Life was meant to be a beautiful thing – and sometimes, it really is – but we’ve tainted it so much with so many meaningless things that now all we do is survive and recover, rather than live and create. I just have the feeling we were all meant to be doing something much more meaningful and important, but somehow it doesn’t quite feel that way. No, it sure doesn’t, not to me.

{ Reply }

Jen May 29, 2011 at 6:28 pm

I am sitting at my laptop in my office. My five year old son is sitting at the desk next to mine, happily taking advantage of the extra computer time a weekend brings. My eighteen month old is asleep in our bed, having recently fallen asleep in my arms. I am feeling much more peaceful about pretty much everything on the planet now that he is asleep.

I am in our house. The house that was ours when my husband and I first married. That we sold to move many states away for graduate school, but sold to a couple with few financial skills who fell literally years behind on payments. So when last fall my husband and I were both fired from our jobs (at the same place) in an extremely dishonest, personal, secretive horrific mess that left us both deeply broken, it was a relief to be fully justified to kick our buyers out and move back here.

Sometimes this house makes me crazy, because it is old, needs work, and is not easy to babyproof. But right now I am able to appreciate it. How familiar it is. The fact that we own it, entire. The yard, the trees, even the trouble-making squirrels.

I do feel that I belong here in this place. I love this city, even though my family is far away. I love this neighborhood, this house, our yard. I am still struggling with finding my place/calling/career/job after the EpicFiringof2010. But at the moment, I’m okay with that struggle.

{ Reply }

Jacob Green May 30, 2011 at 12:12 am

My name is Jacob Green, I just turned 20, literally no more than 22 hours and 10 minutes ago. Its funny that i come to Raptitude and find this post on here cause I think this day or year is a very important one. To the question, im in my dads living room; my two blood brothers are asleep in the next room; my dad and his new fiance and in the other; and my giant step-brother is in the other. I look around and see my frankenstien of a road bike, built up from a UC Davis bike church when i went there for a year, my 15th phone, LG p.o.s., and a record player i bought for my dad for christmas. Like many people have said we are where we are from a product of our choices, but sadly we are also a product of many more choices other people have made to influence our lives. I understand that a person can take their own life into their hands and make something of it, but at every point in your life are you able to make that decision? If so why does it seem so hard? If not the why not? Just for a quick laugh for everyone, I have a small anecdote: Cal Poly hosted their annual beginning of dead week NAKED RUN this past friday. My best friend spike took me to his house and we proceeded to ride bicycles to hathaway which is 5 miles from his house wearing nothing but speedos and panchos. We didnt make the event, but i proceeded to streak in a poncho. After the run we tried to make it back to the house i did not. I crashed on my bike 15 times, sustained knee, quad, hip, forearm, and quite a few face cuts. Im here and in the state im in because of that weekend, and im smiling

{ Reply }

Tobi May 30, 2011 at 2:37 am

The real one was to long and I thought you might skip reading it. So This is a short short version but the full one is here if you want to read it :) http://treasuretext.blogspot.com/2011/05/to-answer-davids-question.html

I’m a 19 year old girl? Women? Who rates at about a 4 at best sitting in parents walk out basement with a part time job as a cart pusher while my friends all have graduation parties and finish their first year of college. My extreme phobia of moths might force me to quit that crap job so I’ll be an even bigger loser. Still haven’t gotten around to joining in on that procrastination experiment.

{ Reply }

Marshall Jones Jr. May 30, 2011 at 3:17 am

I’m at work in Seoul, South Korea. I’ve been here for 30 days now. I keep telling everyone I’m planning to stay two, maybe three, years. But really, I’ve known since the first week that I probably won’t. It’s not that I don’t like it here. It’s that I can’t imagine topping this first year.

So I’ll probably go somewhere else after this. In the meantime, the present moment, I’m meeting new people, visiting new places, and writing new things.

-Marshall Jones Jr.

{ Reply }

Hanlie May 30, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I’m at my dining room table…and will be going to bed as soon as my tea is finished. I’m in the middle of a year of major transformation – I reached my own personal rock bottom about six months ago when I suffered a breakdown brought on by an extremely abusive work environment, 15 years of obesity, a bout of depression and severe adrenal exhaustion. I just wanted to die. And yet… in that moment, as I was telling my husband that if this was living, I wanted no more of it, a little voice inside me said, “Stand up. Heal. Change your life.” At that moment I discovered that I already had everything I would ever need to live a meaningful life.

It’s been an interesting six months. I have recovered from the depression and the adrenal exhaustion, but due to the obesity am still faced with serious health problems. I engaged an NLP life coach to help me and immersed myself in the teachings of people like Martha Beck and Dr. Wayne Dyer. I figured many things out – among others that I have to end my marriage and learn to stand on my own two feet. I literally have to learn to take up all the space I need and want. It’s very exciting… and of course a little daunting. Yes, I am happy, because I am in motion…

{ Reply }

Nea | Self Improvement Saga May 30, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I am where I’m supposed to be. Sitting here on the sofa in front of my new air conditioning unit. The vertical blinds on the balcony door are open, the sunlight is shining in and I have a perfect view of the trees. I hear my daughter yapping on the phone (she’s home from school because it’s Memorial Day). My new lasagna recipe is cooking in the slow cooker. The cat is sniffing my leg.

I’m a bit anxious about the many things going on in my head at this very moment. “Where do I start” and “What if…” are the primary questions; but I’m surrounded by the answers. Everything I’ve done, mistakes and all, have led me to a moment in time where I am much more than okay. I have so much to be thankful for and I have every reason to believe that whatever I do next will also work out for my Highest good.

{ Reply }

kokopelli May 30, 2011 at 2:19 pm

I am in the midwest right now, and despite all the beautiful landscapes it has to offer I cannot appreciate it for what it is. I am staying with an old friend, and I realize now that we have little in common. I am sitting on a fold-out couch, while my friend is watching TV in the other room. We have known each other since 3rd grade.

I attend the most prestigious undergraduate art school in the nation. It has a class of 63 art students and an acceptance rate less than 5%. It is little known, except by insiders of the art world and New Yorkers. Living in the city and attending this program has simultaneously opened doors and doubts in my life. I do not know if art is what I want to do for a living; all I know is that when i’m depressed, creating work makes me feel even more alone…but the process is satisfying in a way nothing else can be. I do not know if my art will ever be good, or whether that matters.

I graduated at the top of my high school class, and I believe I am an intelligent being. I feel that being a real and sentient person makes life more difficult–and your website is something I keep coming back to, even though I scorn self-help books and advice from a person I don’t even know. Your writings don’t seem like that.

I feel as if I should be enjoying my vacation–but I am mostly overwhelmed by how confused I am about everything. I have been reading about different types of depression, and I feel as if I could easily be diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I do not know if I should take medicine for it, because I am often overwhelmed to the point where I can do nothing but cry for little direct reason. I cannot sleep when I am angry or melancholy, but I don’t want to take medicine or see a doctor because in some ways I believe that depression can guide my art-making, and that these feelings are naturally-occurring and a part of my personality. Depression medicine is how our society diagnoses and takes care of these naturally-occurring feelings, and it is our way of allowing ourselves to lead functioning lives. But I think part of being an artist is being able to feel and understand emotion–and not necessarily lead the most efficient or high-functioning lifestyle. Depression medicine would mellow out my feelings, but I would not feel anything with as much intensity as I do now. I don’t know if I want that.

I met my boyfriend at school, and this is the first time we have been doing long-distance. Our relationship began based on the conversations we have while we’re on drugs–mostly weed and LSD, but we still get along fine when we’re sober and I care about him a lot. We both have trouble communicating, and I am going to a music festival with him in a week–he has a musician’s soul and has taught me how powerful music is in how it makes you feel. He has a lot of issues I cannot help him with, and sometimes it makes me feel like we are both headed towards an awful future.

Telling my mother that I am bi-polar would destroy her. My family is falling apart, and I have not seen my brother since last Christmas. My mother cries a lot and is always screaming at me, and she tells me not to have children because they will just take and take from me, and they will never give anything back.

There have been brief moments where I really appreciate where I am right now. At night, I run when the sun comes down and the air is cool and dry. The night smells like honeysuckle–one of my favorite scents, and the sky above me is endless and full of stars. I wish I could feel as happy as I do when I am running at night all the time.

This is where I am, how I am, and I don’t know where I’m going.

{ Reply }

hope May 30, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I’ve been keeping up with this article since i’ve posted on it. Kokopelli’s comment brought me to tears. I understand the battle between getting help or staying at ease. Depression has gave me the mindset that not everyone is blessed, or more so cursed with. All of these drugs, to become something i’m not. Personally, i’ll pass. If you’re reading this, continue your art. Cling onto that one passion and never let it slip between the cracks. You’re beautiful, and the world needs that. Stay true and love yourself.

{ Reply }

Sarah May 30, 2011 at 11:12 pm

I’m at work. Its teeming with rain and there’s renovations going on in my office so I’ve got headphones on (listening to Adele). In terms of where I’m AT, I’m anticipating the arrival of someone who used to be very close to me, and the anticipation revolves around whether they will be again. I hope so and hope not in equal measure.

{ Reply }

Spalding May 31, 2011 at 1:27 am

It’s 2am in My Dad’s tiny condo (free rent) and today was my first day back to a job I’ve had for a while now. A tedious and meaningless job I began with idealism and huge misconceptions and kept at simply to pay for school. Currently I’m surrounded by bank statements as I try to prepare my taxes, twice, in two languages for two countries. I just got back a week ago from a year of teaching in France.

My mind is still over there, in the woods with the woman I love. An American I met while teaching, we hung out a lot throughout the year, then even lived together for a month in a tiny tent as we biked all around Europe. But alack, she’s married, to another man, and now lives thousands of kilometers away. Despite our once-in-a-lifetime adventure together, I was too afraid to tell her I loved her.

I blinked and it’s all gone.

It seems like there’s nothing left between us even just a couple weeks on, and it kills me because I still love her.

{ Reply }

Evan May 31, 2011 at 8:15 am

I’m in my medical school’s student lounge 2 weeks after we’ve broken for summer break after 1st year finished. I’m here because we are required to sign up for a ride-along with a program called Meals on Wheels that empowers able-bodied senior citizens to deliver meals to the homes of more handicapped seniors. I’m about to head out to meet my mentor in about 5 mins.

I guess what got me here is the need for challenge. I’m in medical school because I get great satisfaction from completing things. I also feel I learn best when I participate in things way outside my comfort zone, start to feel totally awkward, and come out with a change of perspective. Going on this Ride-along thing will not be TOTALLY outside my comfort zone but I don’t spend much time with seniors and I’m sure there’ll be a lot to learn.

{ Reply }

LootBag May 31, 2011 at 9:03 am

I am here in my basement office, contemplating the tasks for the day (and yes, procrastinating a little). I am here because one day about 7 years ago I realized that I could not handle my cushy-but-boring job anymore, and needed to challenge myself on all sorts of different levels.

It’s been tough–agonizingly tough–but I am much happier to be alive now than perhaps I have ever been. I have learned things I needed to learn about fear and anxiety, and as a result of that, I have learned far better how to be in the moment I am in, not worrying too much about the future (which does not exist), nor mourning too much the past (which cannot be changed).

I am in a lot of debt, and the income from the company is still not quite where it needs to be to make ends meet. Also, my marriage of 15 years is coming to an end. I’m not perfect, and I don’t have my shit together, and I’m still very much a work in progress, but I have discovered a sense of peace and calm that carries me through many challenges that in the past would have stressed me out terribly.

It is good to be alive, and it’s good to be me. I recently noted my 41st birthday, and it really pleases me to be thankful for the wonderful life I have had thus far, and appreciate that I still have so much life left to enjoy. But none of that really matters. All that matters is this moment, and that’s what I celebrate the most.

{ Reply }

Beebosmom May 31, 2011 at 9:53 am

I am at my desk at work. I like my job. It pays okay, has good benefits and retirement plan. This is important to me because I have a young child. I am currently married and wish that I wasn’t. I had a plan to leave this summer but will probably postpone it for 6 months. I want to make sure I have enough money, pay of cc debt. I feel ready for that change but also scared.

{ Reply }

escapingthecountry May 31, 2011 at 2:24 pm

I’m chillin’ on my bed in a tiger-print onesie; instead of tiding up my floor-drobe or beginning revising for my final exam I’ve decided to try on my fancy dress for a party more than a week away.

This is my final year at university, and I’m excited to finally be able to make something of myself in my life, to move away from my small country town, to see the world and create a legacy.

{ Reply }

Hannah May 31, 2011 at 6:49 pm

im in a friends apartment, living on a couch, waiting for my lease to start tomorrow.

{ Reply }

Fabian | The Friendly Anarchist June 1, 2011 at 5:07 am

I’m at a dear friend’s apartment in Berlin. Got here two days ago. I always wanted to explore this city, had planned to visit him since last year, and now it worked out. How I feel about that? Pretty great. Blessed, almost. It all came together so easily, so effortlessly, even though it took some time.

“Do you feel like you are where you’re supposed to be?” – At this very moment, yes. But it’s also just a moment in time, and the journey will continue. I enjoy being here as much as the prospect of moving on again, one day.

{ Reply }

Jillian June 1, 2011 at 7:37 am

This is my bedroom in my parents’ basement where I am hiding from the world. It’s less hot and humid in here than it is outside, so I am hiding from the world in the physical sense, and it’s less scary to live here than it is work hard enough to strike out on my own. Or am I wrong? Is it scarier to stay in my comfort zone, never living the life I’ve imagined for myself?

{ Reply }

Jeff June 1, 2011 at 9:33 am

I’m at work, reading a blog. But if I’m going to go ahead and not work, I should work on my school work instead.

{ Reply }

Natasha June 1, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I think it’s funny that you asked these exact questions because it seems like I’ve been thinking about this sort of thing a lot lately. I don’t really pay attention to these little emails I receive, but this one I want to respond to. I really feel like I am exactly where I’m supposed to be in life. I just finished my first year of college, and my life has almost turned upside down. I changed a whole lot, and I view things a lot differently. I’m back home for the summer, totally motivated and inspired to do something big and exciting with my life, thanks to a great year and all of the transformations it’s made in me. I’m alone at the time, taking sort of a break from my family and friends and the busy life I’ve had this entire past year. But I’m dearly thankful to everyone and everything in my life, whether those things, people, or situations made me happy or totally devastated me. Because all of those things have made me who I am today, and surprisingly I’m very satisfied with this state. I usually rarely feel this way, so now I know that I’m doing something right and it feels really damn good!

{ Reply }

Simon June 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

I’m at home, on the floor, browsing the net after I had my dinner. Fearing boredom and looking for validation hits I’m using the computer again.

Before I would probably be doing the same, but it wouldn’t be the 7th hour of using the computer, but probably the first. I find that if I’m out of the house I use the computer less, but I don’t always want to leave the house.

I don’t quite feel where I’m supposed to be, but in the absence of anything else, this is what it is.

{ Reply }

Kim T. June 1, 2011 at 8:51 pm

I am using my laptop, sitting in my big soft armchair with my legs on the ottoman. I have a cup of water beside me and am leaning on a pillow. I just took 2 ibuprofen. I have a stomach ache and a headache and that’s why I’m on my laptop – to distract myself until I feel better. My older son, a 4th grader, will take his social studies state test tomorrow – 400 years of Virginia history, and he’s stressing, because he wants a perfect score on it. He’s supposed to be in bed but he’s come downstairs twice cramming some last minute information. I just tried to talk him down from being a perfectionist about this test, and I think I finally convinced him to go to bed and stay in bed. My husband is out of town on a business trip for a few more days and it’s really quiet without him here. Not that he’s a loud person by any means, but his presence has a quality that when absent, makes our home feel empty. My younger son is probably asleep already, with his fuzzy freshly-buzz-cut blond head on his Perky the Penguin pillow pet. As I write this, I can hear my kitchen clock ticking loudly.

I am in this moment because of a whole series of choices I made over a long period of time that led me here, to my home, and this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. Even with the stomach ache and the headache – because I ate too much at dinner and I was too vain to wear my glasses at work today. :)

{ Reply }

Michelle June 1, 2011 at 9:34 pm

I am in a room… my room I guess. I’m living in my parents’ house. I just graduated from school, and I’m searching for work. I feel like I’m here out of happenstance, but I know that’s a lie. I’ve had the power and ability to take control of the direction my life goes, but I’ve been too timid and afraid to do so. So now here I am.

Am I waiting? I always feel like I’m waiting. That’s how I end up at my parents’ place post-graduation; I wait for life to happen, and it doesn’t. But I guess I am avoiding something. I’m avoiding the truth that I have the power to change things, if I really strive to. I’m afraid of rejection and failure. It’s easier to simply let life happen. Likewise, I’m too timid to really be excited for anything. I suppose I’m excited for the anbiguous future, because it lets me hope for something greater.

I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, but at the same time, like I’m supposed to fight like hell to get out and be something more.

Thanks for the questions, they got me thinking.

{ Reply }

mike seroy June 1, 2011 at 10:03 pm

I am in my bedroom, laying in my bed because I am upset. The reason I am upset is because I have an MCAT exam in two months, for which I spent about 8 hours making a schedule that I wanted to follow. The schedule planned out every page number and problem I would do for 80 days. However, I have barely done two days of work to account for the last 20 days of my schedule. I don’t know why this is. I wake up every morning, head to the library to do a little work and then I feel like doing no more for various reasons, such as “I feel hot and the AC at my place is cooler.” I tell myself I will come home, play some video games, then try (again) to start catching up on my schedule later that day. However, I never do. I keep doing other things that waste time. Watch TV, play chess, hang out with my brother. The worst part is I no longer will associate with my friends because I tell myself I don’t have time to “chill” since I need to catch up on my MCAT schedule. But I never do. I stopped replying to their texts and phone calls because I don’t want to deal with anything or anyone until I catch up, but I just can’t seem to concentrate and do so… I came to your blog looking for any new advice because I think us two are pretty similar. Growing up I did very well in high school. My parents always expected As. I did pretty good my first year of college too; however, second semester second year, my procrastination killed me (I didn’t start studying for my ochem final until the night before it), and my grades suffered. I am just trying to get my life back together because it kills me how I don’t have enough discipline to control my time management. Tomorrow is a new day though and I will try again.

{ Reply }

Kelly. June 2, 2011 at 1:01 am

Although I feel bad today, I am where I meant to be, I know that deep down to my core. A week ago I forgot take my meds, and as a result today I am feeling the consequences (depression, anxiety and paranoia). Where I am is sitting on the lounge suite in my parents house, in a small town, rural New Zealand. After an inappropriate relationship with a senior co-worker turned sour (his wife found out) I ran away from the city, back to my parents in the guise of ‘returning to study’. At times I feel like my life has been one fuck up after another, but then I think about it and I realise that I am working my ideal job in the centre of my industry (having studied it for two years and come top of my classes) and learning and enjoying it more than I could ever imagine.

{ Reply }

HT_SA June 2, 2011 at 2:00 am

Great question! I am sitting in a diner just outside Cape Town, South Africa, having breakfast on my way to a meeting. It is 9am and the diner is filling up slowly. Looking around I see all sorts of people, some reading the morning paper, some (like me) working on their laptops. Two big tour buses just stopped outside and I am wondering what their final destination will be.

Am I where I want to be right now? Yes, I am – after spending 8 years abroad it is good to be back in South Africa. However, another big move may be on the cards – another international move. I am not sure if this is what I am supposed to do – time will tell. In the interim I am waiting to hear if I secured a lucrative contract for my new business (only in its 6th month!) which will relieve a lot of the financial pressure I am currently feeling. I am also turning 40 this year – so I am constantly in a reflective mood recently – feeling that I am now at the halfway point of my life (hopefully!) and looking back at the ups and downs of the last 4 decades.

{ Reply }

Izzie Driftwood June 2, 2011 at 9:45 am

I’m in my room at my parent’s house, on the same bed I slept in more than 20 years ago. In two weeks we’ll move, and again to a new city/state in six more months. I’m ending a three year period of recovery and rebuilding after I threw my life (grad school, impending career, etc.) under the bus. Am I content where I am? No, but I’m going in a better direction and this bed is a lot softer than the bridge I slept under, the humble pie worth the stability, support, and love of my family and new friends. My heart healed, I’m ready for the next great adventure and continuing creation of my place in mock race.

{ Reply }

Chelsey June 5, 2011 at 1:49 pm

I am currently sitting in the common room of a hostel in Seattle. I have been here for ten days and I can finally move into my sublease today for the rest of the summer. Ten days before, I was driving all the way across the country, from Ann Arbor, Michigan to Seattle, for an unpaid position at a non-profit. I came here for a new adventure (I graduated from college a year ago and needed a change of scenery) and to find opportunities in the job market that are currently not available in the horrid Michigan economy.

{ Reply }

Amanda June 5, 2011 at 2:14 pm

My little corner of time is on a couple week delay from this post. I’m delayed in replying because I’ve been behind in reading the blog posts I get sent to my email. Dealing with the loss of a loved one over the past couple months has been challenging and has affected my motivation and productivity, especially outside of work, causing the build up in my inbox. It’s Sunday today and I’ve spent the morning sitting quietly with my computer on the couch, catching up with friends on Skype, with my online reading and enjoying the silence. This two bedroom apartment is not the place I need to be over the long term, I realized that about a week ago. But tidying up my mental clutter in this comfortable spot on the couch, under a blanket and wrapped in silence, is exactly where I need to be during this brief instant. Thank-you for helping me realize it :)

{ Reply }

shoshanna June 5, 2011 at 7:15 pm

I just found this blog yesterday or else I would have commented sooner. But where am I at this moment? I’m in my kitchen currently waiting for my dinner to cook and figured I’d come read more of this blog because I found it so interesting yesterday when I stumbled on it.

Am I where I’m supposed to be? Yes, I am. It’s not where I WANT to be though, but since this is where I am, then I guess I am supposed to be here right? There’s always a reason for everything, even if sometimes that reason is not clear to us.

{ Reply }

another T June 5, 2011 at 8:42 pm

In the sitting room of our 100 year old house, fish tanks bubbling to the right, husband to the left through the arch watching TV while I unwind here at the computer. The kids are in bed. The house I grew up in is only 5 minutes away.

I’m 43 and a stay home mom of 3 (3, 5 & 8 years old). I think I’m exactly where I need to be at the moment, but I’m restless. So many lists of things I want to do, with the house, with the kids, with the husband. No way to do it all.

I try not to think of the things I miss, just do what I can and realize I have a great life, even if I never make it to Machu Picchu.

{ Reply }

Changkuoth Gatchay June 8, 2011 at 2:10 am

I’m in the kitchen, sitting at the dining table. I’ve been living in this apartment for about a year. I never expected to move out here. But, my family was forced to leave our former apartment because of financial trouble. If you would’ve told me two years ago that I was going to live in Slayton,MN, I would’ve told you that you’re crazy. That’s precisely because I use to live in New York state prior to moving here.

{ Reply }

Jeff Blunck June 8, 2011 at 3:57 am

I can say with absolute confidence that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment. I have suffered my whole life from what I have heard called a value system disorder ( may have even been on this site that I first heard that expression:) I have suffered from the disease of addiction since I was 10, I am 54 now. The disease is progressive and only goes one way which is down. When death seemed like the only viable solution, when I had arrived at colossal human failure status I received “the” Gift. The gift of desperation. What this gift afforded me was a solution to the value system disorder that created it :) … I was presented with the idea that deep down within every man woman and child is the fundamental idea of God ( I dont even know if that is the name God prefers) that ultimately it was only in that place, deep inside of me, that God could be found. I was presented with a very simple set of Spiritual principles from others in whom this problem had been solved. With the willingness I found as a result of this desperation. I followed the direction for the practical application of these simple rules in aspect of my seemingly hopeless life. I have heard it called “a new pair of glasses” …. So I committed to this discipline as best I could on a daily basis and the miracle of enlightenment took place. What I see with these “new glasses” is that Fear and only Fear is at the core of all my suffering… “dis-ease” if you will. I have been driven by Fear all my life. Growing up I was indoctrinated into a value system not of me. Every and I mean EVERY belief, opinion, attitude, prejudice,etc that I held dear was either directly or indirectly influenced by fear… I was driven by fear. Self centered Fear is the primary activator of ALL of my defects of character and thus all of my decisions and beliefs about what would define my life as a “success” . Acceptance and approval, hopes and dreams all generated mass quantities of fear. Fear’s most effective and devastating defect is denial. Denial is a master of disguise. Sense of entitlement can ruin a day a week or my whole life if I leave it unresolved. Fear of injustice, that someone might actually get away with doing me wrong or even someone else ( I am “codependent” that way:) I was told that if I were willing to inventory my life on paper looking only for my wrongs and how my fear created defects influenced my decisions and brought about misfortune I truly felt I didn’t deserve. To tell my life story to another human being all of it leaving nothing out . To list all person I had harm and to make such matters right as best I could, that I would enter into a relationship with my creator. I was told that if I asked my Creator to remove my fear and direct my attention towards what He would have me become that I would commence to outgrow fear. This has proved to be true for me. It is the “Great Fact” never believed it possible . As I have stayed true to the discipline I have been set free.
I know in my heart that I am on my own perfect journey in this life and that it is ridiculous to judge my life by comparing it to others. That hopes and dreams are not entitlements nor do they define me. I have been set free from the prison of public opinion. The world and it’s people no longer have the power to “kill” my Soul unless I choose to give it to them. Life is very much like a math equation. First commandment in math is ” Simplify then solve” and then there is a very strict order of operations ( I am assuming we all know those) if I do not follow this strict and immutable order I will not get the “right answer”. When I ask the God of my understanding to remove my fears and in return offer to do something for someone else with no thought of a return or benefit then I recieve the gift of freedom from the bondage of self.

I can be happy and free as long as I try to honor my commitment to this simple discipline (trust me I will never maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principle! There would be no need for Grace if perfection were possible ) So long as I remain willing to grow along Spiritual lines and see to it that there are no conditions on my happiness I will remain free and able to live usefully and walk humbly under the Grace of my Creator.

Thankyou God for the gift of desperation and my willingness to embrace it. I know that if I would have lived up to my worldly potential I would have never been willing to try to “meet” and know you

Jeff

{ Reply }

FakeName June 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm

I am here in a cafe in Barnes & Nobels, came to chat online with my fiancé-whom I haven’t seen for 7 months-, and pretend that everything is going fine in our relationship…. It is not good, isn’t it? I don’t live the best situation now but I cannot find the better situation to replace with the current one… I am here in this café’, enjoying (?!) my loneliness. I am here in http://www.raptitude.com to learn how to get the best of the thing we are calling it “Life”…

{ Reply }

lynn June 15, 2011 at 8:37 pm

Am late to the party … am in my apartment on my comfy couch with my amazing dog sleeping beside me with a laptop on my lap. because i’m where i am, i have to be where i was meant to me, because simply am here. Am present to the moment and the question at hand, and find that if am not where am supposed to be, fear is the impediment to that path. The dreams and daydreams of youth are long gone, yet fuel my intention despite the “knowing” that 41 years of inhabiting the earth has generated. Or so I think. Feeling free is nice. That’s always been my save haven. Being alone is lonely, yet at the same time, freeing. At a cross roads in my life, at least that’s how I’m hoping it will generate. If not, it is more of the same, and that’s not bad but not free. I am thinking of a computer program right now one that is for people to use and navigate their lives… by entering the past and hopes for the future, and having an algorithm generate “what if” choices based on the information provided. I think that would be interesting and stimulate individual paths that help folks to overcome fear and feel safer in their future options and choices.

{ Reply }

Meghan June 29, 2011 at 11:06 am

I’m a university student, off for summer vacation, and terrified that I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I volunteer at a children’s hospital, an opportunity that came out of the only spontaneous action I’ve taken in a long time. Currently, I’m sitting on a bed in a room of my grandparents’ house on the beach of the Sea of Cortes in Mexico, taking a 10-day break to de-stress myself, although since I can’t remember a moment in my life when I wasn’t stressed about something, I have no idea what that feeling I’m looking for is. I’m hoping I’ll recognize it when I find it.

{ Reply }

David July 3, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Not that I’m that much older, but I wish I could tell every college student that they shouldn’t know what they want to do with their lives by the time they reach college. There is so much to learn about yourself before you can make a genuinely informed decision about the right way to spend your life. A great book is “What Should I Do With My Life” by Po Bronson.

{ Reply }

nia July 1, 2011 at 2:30 am

For whatever reason, I ended up in front of this screen reading your questions and it felt like the questions were meant for me, in this moment. Life is different and I would not have been able to ask myself these important questions without stumbling onto this site. I just wanted to say thanks. Sometimes we don’t have it in ourselves to look in the mirror and ask such crucial questions of ourselves but I’m glad you did. Very personally motivational.

{ Reply }

Zackary October 4, 2011 at 2:50 am

Where am I? Who is to say, none of us *really* know where we are. I mean, look above you, there us probably a roof over your head. You are also most likely (and for your own safety, hopefully) sitting down, but that doesn’t translate to where you are. We are inside of what we believe is the universe, proven if it exists or not, we are inside of it. If I were anyways to give you a legitimate answer on where I am right now, I would have to answer with – I am present. How did I get here? I’m not quite sure of that either, but I think it has to do with the fact that ultimately I will not be able to fully understand any of my actions not to mention the effects of those actions. Am I waiting on something? Yes, I am waiting for my next self-realization, sometimes I forget that I am, or in other words exist and that other people exist too. Avoiding something? I am avoiding avoidance. Let everything come and go. I don’t revolve around the thinking of ignorance is bliss, because it certainly is not. Excited for something? Yes I am, I am excited to see my stunning girlfriend today at school, our love for each other exceeds our need for each other, which I think is beautiful.
I am in the middle of what I like to call “Chapter 17″. I am quite content with life and have been involving myself in more and more things that I love and cherish. It’s a great chapter.
I feel that everyone is where they are supposed to be whether or not they or okay with it. Because no matter what, change is always inevitable, and perseverance is always constant.
I truly appreciated this article, it definitely supports my reasoning for “late night philosophy”.
And remember, if you aren’t thinking, you aren’t living.

{ Reply }

Roger February 11, 2013 at 12:25 am

I’m here trying to flee for pain and shame. Shame because I was dead inside for years and desperately trying to look for happiness at places where it can’t be found and blamed the one person I loved the most in my life. Pain because I hurted her when it was the last thing on earth I wanted to do. And the crushing fact she’s gone for good made me leave my life, made me live again. How bittersweet that tastes can’t be described.

I lost her and as I type this message, my feet are being cooled by drinkable water gently flowing down in a river and the sun is warming my bare skin of my chest and legs. I feel happiness. Mind is at ease and I am learning. My heart is blossoming again.

I’ve learned happiness can’t be found. And I have realised the one person I should love the most in this world should be me, before I can truly love someone else.

Thank you, I hope life brings what you seek. You deserve it.

{ Reply }

Leave a Comment

{ 2 Trackbacks }


Raptitude is an independent blog by . Some links on this page may be affiliate links, which means I might earn a commission if you buy certain things I link to. In such cases the cost to the visitor remains the same.