Everyone who was once a schoolkid knows the two different phases of Summer holidays.

Waking up on the first Monday of summer holidays is a feeling of unparalleled abundance. School seems light years away. It really feels like you have unlimited time.

This feeling continues until one morning in August, when you look at the calendar and have the opposite feeling, because there are only ten days left before school starts.

These two feelings, abundance and scarcity, are ever-present forces in our lives. Often whole weeks, or months, or even years take the general tone of one or the other. But we also swing back and forth between them throughout each day.

You look at the clock, expecting it to be six-something, and it’s 7:48. A feeling of scarcity descends immediately.

You remember this coming Monday is a holiday. A whoosh of abundance.

You arrive at the show and there’s a huge lineup for tickets. You catch a news report about a sluggish economy. Your girlfriend says she doesn’t want fries but will just “Have some of yours.” Scarcity.

Your boss tells you a deadline has been pushed back. Netflix adds a whole second season of Happy Valley. You’ve done every bit of laundry in the house and it’s all clean and folded. Abundance.

Abundance is the feeling of “All I need right now, and more”. It is the feeling that you can rely on your future, on your personal world, to provide for you.

Scarcity is the sense that it’s uncertain that what you need will be available. It activates the parts of the brain that deal with competition, urgency and despair.  Read More

Whether we’re aware of it or not, we basically move through life in one of two ways, and each of us has a favorite. We’re either moving towards what we want, or we’re moving away from what we don’t want.

It might seem like moving away from what you don’t want accomplishes the same thing as moving towards what you do want. If you’re successfully moving away from pain, dullness and disappointment, what could you be moving towards, other than pleasure, excitement and fulfillment? It should be a simple matter to decide which way to go.  Read More

In the early days of this blog I published what I thought was a throwaway post, entitled “88 Important Truths I’ve Learned About Life”. It was nothing but 88 sweeping aphorisms I had collected as they occurred to me, delivered with a bit of snark. But it was a huge hit and still brings new people to Raptitude.

Today I can’t bear to look at it. It’s just too preachy. But I understand the appeal. It’s fun to throw down an aphorism, and ask yourself if you really believe it. Here’s what I’ve learned (I think) in the seven years since. Also quite preachy.

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1. Growth means doing things that are hard for you right now. There’s no other way.

2. The news doesn’t show you how the world is. It shows you whatever will make you watch more news.

3. Metal tools and utensils cost a lot more, but last about twenty times as long as plastic ones.

4. Good listeners are rare. When you find one, keep them in your life. And pay it forward.

5. Nobody sees you the way you see yourself, which should probably come as a relief.

6. Often nobody wants to make decisions for the group. Everyone appreciates the person willing to propose a time or a place.

7. Every generation thinks the one that came before them and the one that came after them are the worst.

8. For whatever reason, everywhere in the world human beings are willing to spend enormous amounts of money and time on alcohol.

9. Almost all casual photos would be improved simply by getting closer. You don’t need to get people’s entire bodies in the frame.

10. You don’t really know someone until you know what they struggle with most.

11. Not long ago, tea, sugar and spices were really hard for ordinary people to get. But they’re still as delicious as they always were. So enjoy!

12. If you spend a week tracking how you actually spend your waking hours, you will probably be shocked.

13. Friendships take work to maintain, and it’s possible the other person is doing all the work. Read More