When you’re worked up over some dilemma, talking about it with someone else can give you a whoosh of perspective, mostly because the other person’s mind isn’t stuck in a black cloud like yours is.
The overwhelmed mind tends to regard everything as bad. The optimistic and resourceful part, whatever that is, has gone offline.
Richard Carlson described this effect well in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff:
“Someone who is in a good mood in the morning might love his wife, his job, and his car. He is probably optimistic about his future and grateful for his past. But by late afternoon, he claims he hates his job, thinks of his wife as a nuisance, thinks his car is a junker, and believes his career is going nowhere. If you ask him about his childhood while he’s in a low mood, he’ll probably tell you it was difficult. He will probably blame his parents for his current plight.”
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I'm David, and Raptitude is a blog about getting better at being human -- things we can do to improve our lives today.
The ice cream example made me laugh. Even getting exactly what we wanted can turn straight into reaching for the next spoonful. Using just one inbreath as the starting point makes this feel much more approachable than setting out to “be still for twenty minutes”.