
This is hardly a brilliant insight, but I’ve noticed that making small, “good” decisions early in the day makes the whole day work better. If I wake up and avoid screen time and loafing around, I get more and better work done, I make more sensible meal choices, I’m less needy and thought-addled, I don’t get as tired in the afternoon, and so on.
The exact causal paths here aren’t necessarily traceable. Maybe my procrastination neurons miss their usual early-morning workout, so I become less inclined to unlock my phone reflexively, which means I get more done and feel better about myself, so the future feels brighter and more within my control, so I don’t hit a wall of motivation loss at 2:30.
There countless variables involved, but the clear pattern is that good begets more good. This seems like a general principle that affects everyone.
It works the other way too, of course. Bad choices beget bad choices. In a moment of weakness you order cheesecake on DoorDash at 9:40 pm. You proceed to sleep poorly, and wake up distracted and screen-hungry. You start late, get annoyed at the first setback at work, compromise your afternoon plans, and feel bad about it, perhaps leading eventually to some evening ennui and more cake delivery.
Everything we do has echoes, in other words. Our choices affect our moods, attitude, and well-being, which in turn affect our choices.
This internal looping mechanism allows behavioral “snowballs” to form. Poor choices gather more poor choices as they barrel downhill. Midnight cake leads to cranky mornings leads to coffee abuse leads to irritability leads to workplace stress leads to more midnight cake, with many incidental collisions setting off new snowballs the whole way.
There are good snowballs too. Filling half your plate with vegetables for a week leads to more energy leads to more patient interactions leads to better work performance leads to a confidence boost leads to an actually viable exercise routine leads to yet more layers of ease and agency.
Because these two types of snowball counteract each other in many ways, either the good or bad type of snowballing tends to dominate at any given time. A strong meditation practice can’t abide depraved amounts of screen time, and vice-versa. You might flipflop between slumps and winning streaks, as opposing snowballing patterns cycle through your life. Sometimes it takes a while even to become aware of which way you’ve been snowballing.
Perhaps some people (normal people?) have a different sort of mechanism than I do, a counter-snowballing feature which prevents either type from getting too big. Maybe when some people start to feel too bad, the bad feeling inclines them towards healthier behaviors, rather than towards reinforcing the bad ones.
That’s hard for me to imagine. At any given time, I’m caught up some variation of one of these two currents. The difference is very distinct. It’s either the happy-side cascade, with its prudent dietary choices, reasonable bedtimes, and general productivity, or the self-sabotage-side cascade, with its outrageous procrastination, excessive screen time, and overconsumption.
The dark cascade can get pretty entrenched for me. Gravity is way stronger on that side. When I start to snowball that way, I stay up later, I eat worse food, and I say yes to alcohol more often. Procrastination becomes pathological. Meditation feels less intuitive, and I skip it or half-ass it. I become less focused, less organized, and dramatically less productive. I become more needy for stimulation, glued to screens, discombobulated, slow to begin and finish anything. I feel bad about myself, and seek comfort from more bad snowball stuff. This can last weeks or months.
As usual, I have no idea whether or how much my experience resonates with you, reader. I know I am an extreme case in many ways. But if this snowball phenomenon does sound familiar to you, I’ve identified two general approaches for getting back to the good side. One is more intuitive than the other, but I believe it’s the less effective one.
Two Philosophies for Righting the Ship
The natural temptation, once the bad snowball has become big and awful enough, is to try to steer it into a brick wall. You don’t want steady improvement; you want total and utter regime change. All the shenanigans will stop as of this Monday morning, you decree. App blockers on all my stupid apps! My alarm will go off at 6:00 sharp, from outside of the bedroom! A single boiled egg for breakfast! Two-cup daily coffee ration, then herbal tea only!
This can sort of work. Past self-destruction begets future self-destruction, and if you can disrupt even some of the bad momentum, and force some good momentum, many bad choices will no longer follow naturally. After two consecutive weeks of evening junk food, a one-day break can give you the best sleep you’ve had in a while, which might set you up for the best morning you’ve had in a while.
To make sure the change takes, you do this in every area of life at once – fitness, diet, relationships, hobbies, workflow — sending bold new habits rippling across your inner world, revolutionizing the status quo for good. Finally and forever there will be no snowballs but happy snowballs, which is your birthright and true nature.
Aside from the reckless idealism here, the main problem, as with all violent regime changes, is instability. Everything gets disrupted, because all the old systems have to break at once. Suddenly every office is manned by someone new, and they don’t know what they’re doing. Nothing that needs to happen has any momentum or tradition behind it. You’re trying to a create a new, functioning (inner) state with nothing but utopian slogans and a high-minded five-year plan. Opportunists slip into the abundant cracks, and start serving their own interests. Soon the transportation commission is controlled by railroad tycoons, the army has become a religious cult, and you’re eating Froot Loops because you ran out of eggs one morning. Soon you’re planning another revolution.
The better method, I think, is to avoid the regime-change approach and instead focus on controlling certain vital institutions. You identify one or two key elements of the bad snowball, and set a new, uncompromising standard around them. Your midnight cheesecake program, despite its popularity, is probably an ideal candidate for abrupt defunding. Same with the now customary after-work cocktail, which, studies say, correlates with imprudent DoorDash initiatives.
These two interventions alone could create lots of positive knock-on effects, if applied consistently. You can also pick one or two “good snowball” elements and commit to making them happen. Re-implementing the old lunch-hour walk policy, if that has worked for you before, might serve as a strong lynchpin for good days; it reliably yields better afternoons, which lead to better evenings, which lead to better sleep, and so on. It’s hard for any of those things to improve without seeing improvements elsewhere. The snowball effect can be a great ally, if its potency is respected.
The lynchpin approach also helps you avoid perhaps the greatest downside of the regime-change approach. Aside from the idealism and instability, there’s a tendency to wait for the right moment for your coup. So much has to happen for it to go right, so you can’t feasibly do it now — you’ll begin the revolution on Monday, or after this current project is over. The New Year would be the best time, really. You have every reason to put off your inflection moment, when you know it’s going to be painful, and when your consolation for waiting is another piece of cheesecake.
***
Snowball photo by Marty Harrington
“As usual, I have no idea whether or how much my experience resonates with you, reader. ”
Holy shit man. Yes. You. Do.
I’m in day 5 of a Bad Snowball and your post may constitute regime change.
I’m going to eat these peanut butter cups and think about it some more.
Assembling my plan for Radical Change, but not sure when yet,
-Your faithful reader, Kent
*fist bump*
Wishing you a speedy snowball reversal.
Yes! There’s a book I read last summer that resonates really well with what you’re writing about option 2: “Tiny Habits” by B.J. Fogg (https://tinyhabits.com/book/). He describes all sorts of ways people ended up snowballing in positive directions by starting with one deliberate tiny action — flossing one tooth each day, or turning on the stove in the morning (even if the next action is to turn it off again instead of using it). It was a fun, compelling read. He emphasizes also the importance of celebrating when you’ve done that one small thing, giving yourself a mental ‘high-five’. That helps build the snowball a lot faster! Thanks for a good read, David.
Ah right… I am aware of B.J. Fogg but have never really looked into his stuff. Such a great name too.
I relate to this so strongly, but for me these phases are so closely tied to my hormonal cycle that I know all I need to do is wait it out and next week I will be a completely different person. It took me 40 years to figure that out, but now I have reminders in my calendar and it only takes me by surprise maybe 30% of the time instead of every single month!
@Joy, you’re not alone in this. I also cycle through snowballs with hormones and surprise myself regularly with the realization that that’s what was happening. Maybe we could be teaching younger folks more explicitly to make a habit of tracking their menstrual cycle for better self-knowledge. Either way, it’s nice to realize that your negative snowball will be easier to counter in just a few days.
Big hormonal swings would add a whole new element of volatility to the snowballing stuff. A former girlfriend had a devastating cycle and she said that simply having ways to remind herself that this was happening was as helpful as anything.
Putting it in your calendar is a great idea. Sometimes I feel like things are spiralling out of control and I’m not where I want to be and that maybe I need to make drastic changes with the direction of my life and quit my job and move to Norway, and then I get my period and go oh, right. This again. I think this is so common and people don’t realize it. I agree @Christine that actual practical tools for tracking and dealing with this at an emotional level would be super helpful information for young people in early sex ed. I feel like I had to figure this out on my own.
What you say usually does resonate and hard, which is why I’m getting an ADHD assessment in a couple of weeks… your openness about this diagnosis has been helpful to me.
As always, David, you are right on point with insights so accurate it’s sometimes uncanny. Them snowballs do be rollin’ everywhere in my life, and most times in the wrong direction, but putting them into words as you have done helps a lot. Thank you so much for your incredible writing, it is always a pleasure to read you.
Magnificent photo captions, as always! And oh, the sweet optimism of the regime change moment – how I love it. Everything seems possible, a better version of me beckons, I get such a rush from a self improvement plan that I think it’s working already, before I’ve implemented anything! But of course you’re right, the less flamboyant, more incremental approach to changing the bad snowball is more effective, even if it doesn’t have the allure of the quick fix and brave new world.
Yes! There is this sneaky sort of phase between deciding to pull a regime change and implementing it (usually a weekend) where you can continue the bad snowball stuff but with less guilt because you know you’re going to “fix” it all starting monday. That’s usually when I order pizza.
Appreciate your honest self reflection David, as ever – it definitely resonates. My own “good snowballs” are (1) leave my mobile downstairs when I go to bed, (2) work on a priority project 930-1030am, and (3) don’t check my phone before 1030am. If I manage all three, my day generally goes pretty well, and even if I slack off after 1030, at least I worked one hour on the project, which keeps the momentum going. I think my brain is comfortable doing ‘more of the same’ and doesn’t like state change. If I feed it a virtuous task first thing, it’s generally pretty happy to continue down that path for a while, being too sleepy to object. One hour is the minimum I ask of myself, then I take a short break, check my phone etc, so my brain can’t object to it. I think we have a small reservoir of optimism that is fullest first thing in the morning, so my “golden hour” approach capitalises on that. Going to bed with my phone then checking it first thing in bed is fatal and inevitably leads to a “dark cascade” of unhealthy knock-on effects.
Those are good ones for sure. I’ve done similar. How well they work sure hints at how powerful a snowball-maker the smartphone can be.
Yes! You’ve discover something that I’ve read about in a couples of books about habits (ie: atomic habits). Willpower is very, very limited. You use it up as you go about your day and you drain it. (Don’t remember exactly how it gets refilled)
As always, what you write matches my experience, provokes new thoughts, and gives me deeper insight. As always, how you write it delights me, and your photos and captions make the whole package a multi-layered work of art, which increases its impact.
A while back I listened to a book titled The Slight Edge. The laid-back surfer dude narrator initially drove me nuts! But later on the narrator seemed like the perfect fit for the material and the basic idea (snowball accumulating from small, positive habits and decisions over the long-term) stuck. Very much in the same vein as this post.
One idea that I took away from that book was that there are many things that are easy to do but just as easy NOT to do. Not doing those things often seems like no big deal in any given moment, but leads us to miss out on big long-term positive effects. So it helps to pay attention to those times when you think about doing or not doing something and ultimately figure it’s not a big deal. Multiply the behavior by 365 days x 1 year, 5 years, 10 years and think about the potential impact. Not that you need to be rigid or obsessed about it. But on balance, what behavior will move you closer to the long-term trajectory you want to be on?
Anyway, people who found this post insightful might like that book. (I have no affiliation. Just passing it along.)
Spot on David. A book I found useful for this strategy is Bill O’Hanlon’s Do One Thing Different.
Makes loads of sense. Tbh, the one thing that has had most impact in my focus in the last 12 years has been switching back to a dumbphone.
Can’t recommend it enough.
Kudos to you, David, I enjoy your posts a lot and can identify with a lot of what you say.
This is absolutely brilliant… not only in its practical advise, but in the humor. Thank you so much.
David, as always, I’m so grateful for your writing. I’ve been dealing with a very big bad snowball for many months, growing increasingly despondent about stopping that momentum. Coincidentally, I’m sitting here having a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries and drinking ginger tea, in an attempt to turn around my unhealthy eating habits.
I love your metaphors, and the photo and caption choices in this post made me chuckle out loud several times. I was at dinner last night telling a friend about your recent post about “future me” and this reminds me that I wanted to send her the link for that.
One easy solution is to live somewhere where you can’t get DoorDash delivery, lol. Seriously, though, implementing changes during the good times that set up obstacles to bad habits I think helps a lot. For example, don’t ever have Froot Loops in the house. Don’t have alcohol in the house. Buy it only when you need it. Go grocery shopping only when you’re making good choices, stock up, and plan for emergency snacks. Leave your bike readily accessible by the door and put your car keys somewhere annoying to get to. And establish an intervention plan for not feeling good, such as setting up a coffee date with a friend who makes you feel good.
I have employed strategies like this much of my life, such as never keeping junk food in the house etc, but I think it has backfired. I have no restraint at all when a guest comes over and I end up with a bag of chips in my house, or I am sent home with half a birthday cake. I never developed the skills to manage those situations.
One trick I use is automating as many decisions as possible. I do laundry every Friday morning instead of having to decide whether or not I need to do one. I hang my shirts in the closet after I’ve ironed them and on a workday I simply take the next shirt in the line, no dithering on what shirt to wear. I follow a standard morning routine: stretching, calisthenics, meditating, then journaling: I never have to decide whether or not I’m going to do any of them. Some wise person said that we only have capacity to make so many decisions in a day, which is why making ones earlier is a good idea, as well as automating ones that are routine.
This does help. When my morning routine is on, it works. When it’s off… snowball city
Very timely! I was about to start a revolution, and I’ve reconsidered. A stealthy guerrilla takeover will work much better.
Happy Friday! Love your articles as your thoughts are many times, my thoughts. So, yes you’re helping many people better understand themselves and have a gift of presenting your random thoughts in writings that are so relatable. So thank you for sharing and I hope to attend one of your workshops in the future.
I do resonate with this but not as bad as you describe it. I tend to snowball sometimes on the bad side, a little bit. Generally it’s something I can’t break out of, such as getting sucked in to a great book or tv series. This leads to late nights and short breaks extending far more than planned. The fact that I’m hooked on them makes me go back to it frequently as it’s constantly in the back of my mind.
I don’t remember a “good” snowball. Maybe when on holidays, I had one recently, we tried out exotic fruits and ate lots of vegetables, got plenty of exercise naturally because we walked to the beach and spent a lot of time in the water. I’ve been thinking about how to bring some of this to my normal life, but it was just so different there, and the mango and pineapple just suck here!
The family of 4 routine has such a big gravitational pull that it’s hard to change anything.
I think I’ll try out your walks after lunch; as my afternoons are pretty much useless.
I’ve learned that the “good” decision doesn’t even have to be “great”, just “better”. If I want to avoid my phone (specifically X) first thing in the morning, I don’t have to replace it by reading the Inferno; a mystery novel or other pleasurable bit of fiction will do just fine. If I want to break the couch slump after dinner, getting up to do the dishes and clean the kitchen will work as well as doing a boot camp fitness video. But we do love a regime-change! So many youtube videos right now extolling the “winter arc”, disappearing for a time (different lengths are demanded), doing difficult things (usually lifting heavy weights and drinking large volumes of water), and coming back “1000% better!”. Also wearing a black hoodie. :)
This is a good point. I sometimes have this reflex to shoot for the optimal thing instead of a clearly better thing, which probably lowers the chances of an improvement taking.
As usual, yes, yes this resonates with me.
Fantastic tips! Changing momentum can feel so overwhelming, but this post makes it seem more achievable. I really resonate with the idea of focusing on small wins to build confidence and energy. It’s all about setting the right pace for yourself, and I’m definitely going to try applying these strategies. Looking forward to seeing how it works for me—thanks for sharing these insights!
بازیهای ورزشی کامپیوتری از پرطرفدارترین ژانرها در میان گیمرها هستند که حس هیجان ورزشهای مختلف را در قالب دیجیتال ارائه میدهند. در این مقاله به معرفی ۱۰ بازی برتر ورزشی برای کامپیوتر میپردازیم که میتوانید برای خرید بازی کامپیوتر به آنها توجه کنید و از تجربه این بازیها لذت ببرید. برای خرید بازی کامپیوتر با بهترین قیمت و تحویل سریع میتوانید سری به فروشگاه گیم کالا بزنید.
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بهترین وکیل اسلامشهر علی اقازاده
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