When you die, you appear before a studio audience and they give you a standing ovation. The host then interviews you about your great successes and misses in life.

One thing you realize, when they review the footage, is that you didn’t really try most of the time.

You thought you had tried and failed to learn a second language, to make a million dollars, to get really fit. You made an attempt or two, but in hindsight you were not in any way determined to make it happen.

Fake trying is hard to see in real time, at least in yourself, but there are hints.

Five years ago, I signed up for a 10k race when I was in no shape to run 10k. I had months to get ready, so by race day I could easily finish in less than an hour.

There were setbacks. I injured my foot, so I couldn’t train for a while. When I was about recovered, we had a brutal heatwave, which made it hard to get enthusiastic about training. Then I had a minor medical procedure, which set me back another few weeks.

Ten days out from race day, I could barely get to 5k. At this point, running 10k without stopping was impossible. So I lowered my goal: get to the halfway point without stopping, then walk. This seemed like a sensible compromise.

On race day I felt fine. I made it to the halfway point and wasn’t dying to walk, so I kept running. By mile four I knew I could finish the race without stopping, and I did.

There was nothing special going on that day. I didn’t have a great sleep, I didn’t feel inspired. I certainly hadn’t trained well. The only difference from my training runs was that, in a race setting, with spectators and timekeepers, it felt harder than usual not to actually try.